want to think about these questions?

There are so many options when someone considers adoption. There are so many things to think about and pray about, to consider and ask questions about. Not to overwhelm anyone who is just on the brink of considering adoption, but here's where we started:

1. Where do we want to adopt from? Initially, I wanted to adopt from China, because that's what so many people around us were doing. I researched all the possible countries we could adopt from and made a chart with their requirements and the cost. China seemed the most reasonable at $26,000 or so. The downside was that a non-special needs adoption could take three years.
2. Where do we want to adopt from? Okay, so after thinking about China, and seemingly making that decision, my husband gets on the internet one night and does his own research and discovers that domestic adoptions can cost anywhere from $10,000 to $50,000, depending on who you adopt through. So we decide to pursue a domestic adoption, considering our bank account and the realistic expectations for how much we can save.
3. Do we want to consider being a foster parent and adopting through the foster system? Adoption through the foster system is free, but they mostly adopt school age children, many in their teens, and the kids are coming from situations bad enough that they have been removed from their homes.
   
4. What about special needs foreign adoptions? Those tend to move quicker and are often less costly than the healthy children, but adopting a child with a special need is a very big step for a couple that have never been parents. Hmmm. Think about it.

Okay, so at this point, and many looooong conversations, we decide to pursue domestic adoption. So, more questions:

1. What agency do we use? At this point we get on the internet and start looking at agencies. We could technically use an agency anywhere and we could use more than one. So I look at websites and then I call and talk to those that I like the look of...and ask more questions.
   
2. How do they find birthmothers? Well, for most agencies, birthmothers come to them through using the phone book or the web. Or from a pregnancy crisis center or a doctor.
   
3. Do they counsel the birthmothers? Some work extensively with their moms, counseling them through the process, and even after the adoption. Some seem to take the babies and run, leaving the birthmother to fend for herself. Ick.
4. How do they charge? I did not really like the agencies that charge based on the race of the baby (more for white, less for black.) Some agencies told me they could have me a baby within six months, if I was prepared to spend up to $50,000. What I discovered was that according to the law, a birthmother could ask for up to two months rent and utilities, even if they did not need the help. And some agencies pass those costs on to the adoptive parents, again, regardless of whether mom needs help or not. So basically, we'd be paying her for the baby. Not really legal. On the boundaries of being legal, I guess.
   
5. How many adoptions do they do in a year? Just curious.
6. What is the average wait? Two years. It can be much less, but it can take longer.
   

So we went and talked to the two agencies we liked, and chose one, New Life Christian Adoptions. Of course, it's been a year now, and we almost had a baby in May, but I am getting antsy for something to happen again and so I have been looking at all our options. Again. And making myself crazy asking all these questions.

Just thought I would share some insight into this whole process. It can totally be overwhelming!