Charlie and I started trying to conceive about three years after we got married. I wanted to try sooner, but he really wanted us to be married for awhile first. In the back of my mind, I thought we'd have trouble getting pregnant, and I was right. I was diagnosed with PCOS about two months after we started trying, because I had my annual OB-GYN visit and we were talking about our family planning.
PCOS is Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and it means that my body makes follicles, but doesn't release them on time, or at all. I don't ovulate, in other words.
I took the drugs you can take. Clomid. Normally, Clomid works for many people. My doctor told me that PCOS is one of the easiest things to fix. I was excited about that, but after six cycles of Clomid and no proof of ovulation, I still wasn't pregnant. We took a break from the meds and just tried naturally for awhile. Nothing happened.
The summer of 2008 on my break from teaching, we combined the Clomid with the drug Metformin, which is supposed to help. It made me feel horrible. I was tired, sick, and irritated. Not pretty. I only took it for two months, and I did ovulate once. Once. Out of how many months? I did not get pregnant that month and I had to go back to work, so I stopped taking the Metformin. It made me too sick to work and I needed my job.
In November of 2008, my husband and I were talking and I told him I was ready to move on. I felt strongly that I did not want to try anything further than the meds I tried, and we did not want to try IVF. We had talked about adopting when we were dating, because I shared that it was a dream of mine as well. After this conversation, we decided to investigate international adoptions. I made a chart of all the countries, their laws and the costs. But God called Charlie to domestic adoption instead. We researched all the local adoption agencies and decided on New Life Christian Adoptions in Garner, NC.
We have been working with them ever since. We were matched with a birth mom in March, who was due in May with a baby girl. We were so thrilled! It was the best day! Charlie brought me a ceramic baby carriage full of flowers that said, "it's a girl." It was the sweetest day.
We started getting prepared. We already had a crib, but quickly found a carseat, registered for other items, our friends planned a baby shower, and we bought clothes, diapers and formula. We picked out a name. We met the birth mother for lunch and loved her. She was smart, sweet and wanted us for her baby.
The first week of May was torture. We kept waiting for the news of the baby's birth. I was on pins and needles.
Then we got the call that she changed her mind. She had already given birth to the baby and said she coudln't go through with the adoption. She even used an assumed name at the hospital so the social worker there wouldn't contact the agency.
That was in May 2009. We are still waiting for another match. It took me several months to get over losing that match and not bringing home the baby I believed was my daughter. The room still sits, waiting for a baby.
We hope and pray that we will be parents soon.
3 days ago