Well, that last post seemed to touch a lot of people. I got more comments that I think I ever have, except for the day the adoption fell through (that was a big one.) I like to think that blogs give us a place to be ourselves, and let it hang out, but I am still somewhat careful at times of what I write, like I have to apologize for what I am feeling at the moment. I shouldn't have to be so careful, but I don't want to offend anyone, and who really wants nasty comments?
After reading the comments, here is what I think about all of us lovely women: sometimes we get it right, and sometimes we don't. We're not perfect all the time, and that is completely okay. I don't expect that of myself and certainly not of you. And that saying goes for our friends as well; they don't get it right all the time either.
Now, I'm not excusing any purposefully bad behavior on someone's part, and I know we've all had moments where someone has hurt us. It happens. People are selfish and unthinking. But let's face it, IF is nothing if not emotional. The hormones, the drugs, the charting, the appointments and waiting rooms filled with pregnant women, the sex on demand. It all toys with our emotions, and it makes us a tad more sensitive than we would naturally be when someone announces their pregnancy. I'm sure that plays into a lot of our reactions. It did mine.
(Side funny: Once at the OBGYN, I looked around and had the sudden urge to ask them all if anyone was planning to give up their baby for adoption!!! Didn't do it, of course.)
What I know is that I command my tongue and that I need to have my heart in the right place. My day will come. And if it doesn't, then I pray God comforts me at that time.
Yesterday, I did what many would say is crazy for an IFer. I threw a baby shower for my dear friend Laura. It was so much fun. We had a ball. Her family lives many states away and shipped all her gifts to me, so we kept pulling out present after present after present. It was such a wonderful afternoon filled with love. I know she had fun and it took two cars to pack up all her gifts! Then after the shower, my husband and I went up to the hospital to meet new baby Eli, the son of our friends Brandon and Mandy.
Isn't this outfit totally cute? Laura was so blessed by all the gifts.
I know that these would be difficult tasks for many of you, and I will admit that I had one little twinge of envy and then it was gone. Again, I credit that to our Lord, who continues to bloom in me a spirit of joy. He has given me the heart to be able to celebrate with others while I wait. He whispers that it will be okay. He gives me a song to sing.
The pic is blurry, Charlie was in charge of the camera at this point. Eli, on the other hand, is adorable.
But, I love hearing your thoughts and your experiences. I only have my couple of real IF friends to talk to about this, and they already have children at this point. Your successes add to my joy and your struggles go on my prayer list. Plus, we all have such a different story, and IF doesn't touch us all exactly the same. Keep sharing with me the happy and the sad, I can take it.
And, I dare you, share it with God as well. He can take it.
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