Sunday, January 10, 2010

trying to trust

I have spent the last few days popping around different pregnancy, infertility, adoption and foster care blogs. I am constantly amazed at how much is out there and available to read. I ended up adding lots of links to my sidebar, so I now I have lots of people to keep up with and follow their journeys.

But, one theme that seems to unite all these blogs is the wanting: wanting to be a mother, wanting to help children in need, wanting to find a good home for a child, wanting to follow God's will. So many of the women blogging out there are Christian women of all faiths, from Catholic to Protestant to LDS. Women who trust God with their families and their lives. Each woman may be going about it in the way they believe, but underneath all the differences in faith are the prayers sent up. Many, many, many prayers.

I know that I often feel like I'm whining about the waiting. And the waiting is hard. I feel like I'm supposed to be mothering someone, and so I often end up mothering my dogs. Lucy, especially, since she tends to be more cuddly. She'll often end up in my lap, and I'll talk in babytalk and call her the baby. I kiss on her and love on her and tell her that she'll love the baby when he/she comes.

Somewhere out there may be a woman who is thinking that bringing up a baby would be too hard. Or that it just isn't something she's ready for or can handle. Hopefully, God is touching her spirit, whispering that He can take care of that baby. There's a way. It doesn't have to be a death...it can be a life, for her, for the baby, and a dream come true for couples like Charlie and me. I pray that in these moments, God is there and that hearts are opened. I pray that these honest whispers fall on receptive ears.

I believe I was meant to be a mother. It wasn't always this way, but more and more each day I know that this is God's calling on my life. Charlie is meant to be a daddy. That I know. I can see it in how he acts with his nephews and niece. It will come so naturally to him.

These are the thoughts for today, I guess. Those are my prayers and my prayer requests. Add them to your list, if you can, if you would.

6 comments:

Baby Wanted said...

What a beautiful post, we are all united by one thing, we want to be mothers and we want to make our husband's fathers. I also pray for pregnant woman out there who are scared and worried, who might make an awful decision. I hope God is showering them with love and letting them know they can give their baby life! Beautifu, Beautiful post!

Mandy @ The Party of 3 said...

Such a great post!!

marge said...

my husband and i have always desired to adopt, and God gave us the opportunity with our son. God knows the desires of our heart. -what a comforting piece of knowledge. adoption is such a beautiful picture of God's love for us. --just an encouraging word to those who are navigating the difficult world of adoption and fostering. ;)

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

I've often argued (nicely, and diplomatically, of course!) with other blogger friends who felt that just because they desired to be a mom didn't mean that was God's will for them. I feel STRONGLY that it's just the opposite. That a desire for motherhood is a natural and beautiful calling, just as is a calling to religious life or charity and anything else that is intrinsically GOOD in and of itself.

The calling is SO STRONG for you, it is tangible :) You will be a fantastic mother.

Thanks for all your prayers, you are in mine as well. I hope you get a match and a placement very, very soon.

Katie said...

What a beautiful post. I will add you to my prayers for sure!

Sew said...

Thank you for your sweet comments on my blog.

I'm excited to watch your adoption journey and I will be praying it happens ASAP.

I do believe as does TCIE that the call to be a mother is a high calling. And that it is a call and the desire is planted sometimes early, like when we were playing with your plastic baby dolls.

What a beautiful thing to think of in retrospect. The desire to be a mother planted at such an early age. The guidance to step outside the box and trust when it doesn't come from within our own womb. Even more beautiful!

And not to mention in adoption that the birth mother selflessly giving a great gift and not counting the cost to her.

Can't wait to catch up on your journey...