Tuesday, December 22, 2009

lack of progress

There isn't much going on these days. Well, there is a ton going on, cause it's Christmas time and there are presents to buy and wrap and candy to make and movies to watch. But there's nothing going on adoption-wise. In my fantasies, I would have gotten a call to come pick up a baby to have by Christmas, but that hasn't happened. Nope. No phone calls.

This time of year is harder for waiting parents, I think. We get those cute Christmas cards in the mail with family pictures, and while I enjoy seeing how everyone has grown, it just makes me want to have a cute family picture of my own to send out. It's not the most Christian thing to be jealous, but it's how I feel sometimes. It's just hard. I think I've said that before. And now I'm saying it over and over and over.

Yes, I'm whining. It'll be over soon.

Anyway, I plan on using my break to rest my brain. It's been overloaded as of late, and I just need to let some things go.

I'm sorry that I don't have much to update. There just isn't much to say, but I like to keep posting so everyone knows the progress. Or lack of progress.

Monday, December 7, 2009

it's not really about me right now

Our agency sent out another update recently, saying that they were now working with three birthmothers and a possible fourth. YAY! I am glad they are getting more business.

So, I don't know anything about these moms though...like if they have already chosen adoptive families or if we meet their qualifications. All that unknown stuff weighs on my mind, and I wish my phone would ring to tell me we had been chosen again. That would be awesome.

But then the agency director told me that the situations two of the moms were in was so unstable that she wasn't sure they would be able to follow through with their decisions to place the babies. Evidently, the families are not supportive of their adoption plans and are really pressuring them to keep the babies. A hard place to be, I'm sure.

I don't know that I want to be matched with another mom who could back out. Once was enough heartbreak. Twice would just about do me in, I think.

So, prayers for the birthmoms, please. Prayers that they will have peace with their decisions and families that will be able to come to terms with what's best for the baby. Prayers all around, please.

I know that God has his hand in our situation, and that it will be our turn when it is our turn. I know I am impatient. I know I whine about waiting. I deal with it in my own small way, trying to handle it when it seems so many people around me are pregnant. I pray that God will mold my attitude into something that makes Him proud. So instead of praying for God to grant me grace, I am praying that He will touch these moms and families. It takes it outside of me...which I surely need. It's not about me, really. It's about the moms. Later it will be about me.