Saturday, December 20, 2008

child specific checklist

This week we chose to fill out our CSC, and it took awhile. The CSC is a form that asks you a very important question:

Are you only willing to accept a healthy child? ____ yes ____no. If you select "no" please refer to pages 2 and 3.

Pages 2 and 3 are a huge graph of things, in alphabetical order, from allergies to mental retardation to whatever comes at the end of the alphabet. You have to go through each one and check that "yes, you would accept a child with that" or "no, I would not accept a child with that" or "I would consider a child with that." It's a hard checklist to go through.

If I were pregnant, I would certainly not be able to determine which of these health problems I was willing to deal with. And in reality, a doctor really won't know that an infant will have allergies or asthma or autism (they do use this checklist for all if we were considering adopting an older child.) It's hard to know what to say about it and how to decide what we can handle. I believe God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but in this case I guess He's given us some of the control. It's an odd place to find myself. I didn't have control over the infertility, but I can decide if I want a boy or girl.

If we were adopting an older child, some of the things to consider are quite interesting. One of the health problems to consider was "fire starter." It made me laugh to begin with, because I was picturing Drew Barrymore, but then I realized that it wouldn't be on there unless it could actually be an issue. That made me sad.

I told my husband the other day that I think this whole process will be a lesson in trusting our Lord. In placing my hopes and dreams in His hand and knowing that it will come out ok. A lesson in believing that His will for us is perfect. So Charlie and I carefully considered what we thought we could handle and finished that form.

Five more forms to go this round.

Saturday, December 13, 2008


I got the email last night that our Statements of Faith were approved and we were sent Round 1 of the paperwork via email. They give you six weeks to fill it out, and I can see's very involved. As I fill it out, I am sure I will share some examples, but for now I just wanted to share the news of the approval.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

in the mail

We mailed off our Statements of Faith on Monday and we are waiting for their approval. I keep checking my email, in hopes that there will be a (1) in my inbox with the next set of paperwork, but it hasn't come yet. I think that this whole experience will be a lesson for me in patience. Waiting for paperwork to get there, waiting for the approval, waiting to be chosen by a birthmother, waiting for the baby to be born. Wait, wait, wait.

In the meantime, I need to enjoy these months as a wife. Hopefully, I will soon be a mother and I know that life will bring many different things. I need to be savoring this time with my husband instead of wishing the baby here already. I guess life is about being content where we are, and reaching for a little bit more. More of His grace, more of His joy, more of His love. We can all use more.

So here, I sit. Typing. Talking to you all instead of driving myself crazy with an inbox that doesn't change. It will soon.

Friday, December 5, 2008

stepping out on faith

This week I asked a lot of questions and I was asked a lot of questions. As I have shared with people that we are adopting, they are usually curious. And I can't blame them, I would be curious too. Are we doing foreign or domestic? How long will it take? Would we want a boy or girl?

And the answer right now is that we're in the paperwork stage. We have to send off our Statements of Faith and then if those are approved we get the longer, more complicated application. We are pursuing a domestic adoption, and it could take anywhere from six months to two years. We are open on the sex of the baby, but in my heart I would love a daughter. I don't know if we will be able to afford to adopt only once, or if we will get to do this again. That's all up to God.

I am learning how to digital scrapbook in preparation for the family profile book we will need to make, but we won't need that for awhile. We have to show our family, our house, some holidays and things we enjoy doing together. I think it will be fun to put together.

That's the update for now. Keep us in your prayers this holiday season. We have not asked anyone for presents, since all we really need is donations for our adoption. It costs a lot and we are stepping out on faith here.

Friday, November 28, 2008

on the way, I think

This week the Lord really gave us a gift. No, no one handed us a baby or anything, but we did pick an agency. You're so excited, I know. But it actually was a pretty big deal, in that there are so many to choose from and many factors to consider. Cost is a big one. And the way the agency is set up was another they see it as a ministry, or as a way to make money. We felt strongly that adoption is not a money making business, and needed to find people that agreed with us.

I told you about a visit we had with another adoption agency, and it went well. But I came away feeling not quite settled, and I didn't know why. I just knew we needed to keep looking, and after many hours where Google has now become my best friend, I stumbled upon New Life Christian Adoptions out of Garner, North Carolina. I called and talked with a really great girl, and made an appointment for Charlie and I to and talk with them. We drove over there on Wednesday, in some really fun pre-thanksgiving traffic, and met with their social worker. I was immediately at ease with her, the office, and the way she spoke about their program and their ministry. She got up at one point to answer the phone and I looked at Charlie, and we both nodded. We both felt it. These were the people.

Now we have to fill out some paperwork and hope they choose us. The first thing we have to each fill out is a statement of faith form, and they said they ask for this first because they promise their birthmoms that the families are Christian. She told us there wouldn't be any need to go further in the process if our statements didn't jive with their philosophy. I thought that was great, because it really gives them a picture of who we are, and how we feel the Lord has led us to adoption.

So basically, this new blog will be to update everyone on this process. That isn't to say that I won't talk about it occasionally on Out On a Limb, but here our family and friends can check in on the adoption process if that's all they want to read about. And I included a link to the right that takes you to the adoption agency site, if you want to look at them.

Keep us in your prayers, and pray for birthmoms everywhere who are struggling with whether to abort their child, or put the baby up for adoption. Pray that God's hand will be on the whole situation and our lives will be blessed.