This week we chose to fill out our CSC, and it took awhile. The CSC is a form that asks you a very important question:
Are you only willing to accept a healthy child? ____ yes ____no. If you select "no" please refer to pages 2 and 3.
Pages 2 and 3 are a huge graph of things, in alphabetical order, from allergies to mental retardation to whatever comes at the end of the alphabet. You have to go through each one and check that "yes, you would accept a child with that" or "no, I would not accept a child with that" or "I would consider a child with that." It's a hard checklist to go through.
If I were pregnant, I would certainly not be able to determine which of these health problems I was willing to deal with. And in reality, a doctor really won't know that an infant will have allergies or asthma or autism (they do use this checklist for all adoptions...like if we were considering adopting an older child.) It's hard to know what to say about it and how to decide what we can handle. I believe God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but in this case I guess He's given us some of the control. It's an odd place to find myself. I didn't have control over the infertility, but I can decide if I want a boy or girl.
If we were adopting an older child, some of the things to consider are quite interesting. One of the health problems to consider was "fire starter." It made me laugh to begin with, because I was picturing Drew Barrymore, but then I realized that it wouldn't be on there unless it could actually be an issue. That made me sad.
I told my husband the other day that I think this whole process will be a lesson in trusting our Lord. In placing my hopes and dreams in His hand and knowing that it will come out ok. A lesson in believing that His will for us is perfect. So Charlie and I carefully considered what we thought we could handle and finished that form.
Five more forms to go this round.
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