I wish I had something to report. That's the hard thing with adoption blogs, I think. I want to keep up with it and give you something to read, but until we are matched again, there isn't too much to say. I could continue whining about the wait or the costs, but you all know all that, because you've dealt with it.
I wish adoption agencies had to publish their costs/fees on their websites. It seems to me I would know right away if I could use them or talk to them if I knew what they charged. It took us a long time to find our adoption agency, and now trying to explore our options, I wish more of them publicized what their fees were. It would save them wasting the time talking to me or emailing me if they had them listed. I emailed another place today that had a list of situations, but could not find the fees listed.
And you know that different states have different adoption laws. I wish they were the same. Why aren't they the same? In NC, the mothers sign their TPR but then have 7 days in which to legally revoke the TPR. They have to do it with a notarized letter, but they have 7 days. Other states have 10 days. Some have 72 hours. Seems to me it should all be the same.
Some states allow the birth parents to ask for financial help. Other do not. This can really increase the cost of the adoption and can be up to $12,000.
It would be nice if things were more standardized. It would make it easier to adopt across state lines if the laws were the same. Plus the ICPC increases the amount of time you stay in another state, which means you are a hotel family for a while.
What are the laws like in your state?
family update.
2 years ago
6 comments:
The reason the states' laws are different is because the U.S. Congress has a very limited mandate to make laws - it may only legislate pursuant to its enumerated powers, listed in Article I, Section 8 of the Constitution. All powers that are not enumerated are reserved to the states for law-making - states make laws to uphold "the public health, safety, morals, and welfare." Each state decides what it thinks will be good for its citizens, and is not bound by what other states have done. If you think about it, none of the waiting periods is necessarily a bad idea - the problem is the inconsistency. Unfortunately, this is the sort of thing inherent in a federal system, in which each state is sovereign in legislating for the public welfare. (On a side note, it has never occurred to most people that the power of Congress to make laws is in any way limited by subject matter. This is because Congress basically doesn't care what the Constitution says. It writes more or less whatever laws suit its fancy, and then declares that the topic involved has some effect on interstate commerce - one of the subjects on which Congress can legislate - even if the connection is ridiculously far-fetched. The practice has made a joke of Article I.)
Ending my legal rant - do you suppose that someone somewhere on the internet has compiled all these places' fees? If not, may I suggest that you might want to start that - a post with the agency name, web address, and total schedule of fees for every place you call. And other bloggers could contribute. I think that would be an awesome resource to have (I'm not looking into adoption now myself, but if I were, I would definitely bookmark something like that).
Work it Misfit! Work it!
I thought I had you on my blog roll a lont time ago...I wondered why I kept missing your updates...I'm sorry, you are there now so I can follow you! ;)
I agree about agencies listing their fees online. It would make research a lot easier. Misfit has a great idea about compiling a list. It is so frustrating that the state laws on adoption are so different...
In PA, there is a 30 day wait for termination of parental rights. Our hearts couldn't take that,so that is why we are choosing to adopt out of state. PA does not allow adoptive parents to pay any birth mom expenses. We want to adopt from a state that will allow us to finalize the adoption there.
http://laws.adoption.com/
This is my favorite site and I use it often when I hear about an adoption because I go and see what the states laws are.
Have you thought of going through a Christian agency rather than a lawyer. I hear the wait times are better in an agency vs. a lawyer. Our adoption all said and done should cost us $13,500. I haven't thought of it being too expensive when you consider others are paying $25,000+. Do you know if lawyers cost less than agencies? wow, such good questions. You know what...I'm going to send you to my friend Ana's blog because she is a great resource.
http://adoptivemomma.blogspot.com/
Have you been receiving my emails and comments on your other blog or direct email? Thank you for sharing this site as I've been thinking about you a lot and so has K at 6 By His Design. Hope it's ok if I follow you here. Continuing to keep you in my prayers for a match.
Sissy-
Too bad you don't live in TX. We have wonderful laws here and our adoption agency does choose to print all it's fees for both domestic and the two international places they do adoptions through. Helps so much! they are a Christian agency as well and I think that helps in receiving care and comfort. We adopted our daughter from them and the process could not have been smoother. We will hopefully begin our next adoption this year and of course will be going with them!!
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