Monday, February 15, 2010

I want to know

I am glad you all liked the nursery! I really was happy with how it turned out and thought it would be a lovely place to bring our baby home to, but now it just sits there, waiting. I know it will get used someday, but right now, it's empty.

Well, it isn't really empty. It's stuffed with things that people gave us: bags of clothes, a stroller and car seat, a play mat thing, a soother chair bouncer thing, and other various baby things.

If you gave us something and I never wrote you a thank you note, I'm sorry. And thank you.

I have favorites of course, of things that I have. And mostly, I have little girl things. If we have a boy, I think I'll just store the girl things, but for now the drawers are filled with pink and purple and pastel colors. And little tiny shoes and hair bows and socks.

I have two friends that are going to go into labor anytime now. One is having twin boys (used Clomid) and the other is having a boy (used Clomid.) Yesterday at church, the friend having twins was having contractions and left to go to the hospital, but they ended up sending her home since she was not really dialated. The other friend was having contractions last week, but nothing yet either.

And another friend just told me she was pregnant, but she loves me and told me in an email. Good friend. It gave me the time to process a little bit and be excited for her when I saw her. And this friend had a miscarriage last year and had a hard time getting pregnant again. So, it was hard not be excited, cause she knows how I felt and we have talked lots about it.

That's what's going on in my neck of the woods. How about you? How do you like people to tell you they are pregnant, or do you not mind at all? I'm curious. Let's talk about it!


Tracey said...

Before I Samuel it REALLY bothered me, but all my friends understood. They would tell me and I would "act" excited for them and then they understood why I couldn't share and they wouldn't push. Now it doesn't bother me at all.

Anonymous said...

It bothers me. Josh and and I have had two miscarriages. We are trying again. But hearing about friends that are pregnant or reading about pregnancy updates on Facebook. What really hurts are the friends who's babies are due when my two would have been due (March and May). I think that is the hardest. I know God has a plan for us, and I am eager to learn what it is! Patience is definitely needed!

Ann - Building a Nest said...

I’m very much an oddball in that no one knows of our IF or m/c, so they would never hesitate to tell me about their pregnancies. The announcements generally do not bother me and, when they do, I am able to let it pass quickly and be excited for them. I would prefer to hear about them on email (I stay far away from FB) just in case I’m in a down mood. Do not get me wrong, there are times when I struggle and 1 family announcement was particularly hard (and I suspect more are coming). But generally I am OK with it. It does make me wonder how all of us (bloggers) will handle it (or wish for it to be handled) when we do end up with child. I just don't know.

Hey, Kristi: I had 2 due March & May and a 3rd due in August (although not in that order). I understand how hard that is when others are due the same time you would’ve been.

emily said...

Ok, where did my comment go? I just did something funky. I'll start again:

Love the blog layout and the cool new pages! Fun. Also, the nursery looks adorable, as I don't think I've seen it in this final of a state. And next...miss you! So sorry it's been a hard few weeks.

Maria in Lewis Land said...

One thing I always tried to remember was that people deserve to have good reactions to good news. I trained myself to have those reactions. I also trained myself to say, "Oh my goodness, I am so thrilled, tell me everything." That always gave me a couple of minutes to gather my wits about me, be a good friend and plan my escape...if necessary.

I made sure my friends knew that no matter how hard that kind of news was to hear, I didn't want to be avoided or I didn't want them to dread telling me.

For me the only thing I found offensive and insensitive is when people (mostly acquaintances) went on and on about how fast they got pregnant or complaining about every little discomfort when I would have loved to have experienced those things.

One thing that stuck with me is that it would be my turn one day. I didn't want to be made to feel guilty for being excited and embracing my joy.

Don't get me wrong - there were plenty of breakdowns regarding pregnancy news...but almost always in private or later with friends.

Lost in Space said...

The worst way I have been told was in a huge group of coworkers who all knew about the pregnancy except me...and the mom to be was my office mate.

One other was done via phone and another in person (but in a public place).

I've held it together through all of them and was able to say and do all the right things, but it was really hard.

Overall, I would prefer email to just have a little time to digest it myself.

Sorry you keep getting bombarded with these announcements...

grantmelissa83 said...

Worst way I was told was my husband announcing that the last set of couple friends without kids were now pregnant- leaving just us. I think he was trying to be funny or lighthearted, but I spent the next hour crying.
I think learning it in email or on FB is the best way for me. It gives me time to process it and get over the initial surprise and sinking feeling.
A friend had her second child a few weeks ago and I was there to see her just hours after. It was really special, but I didn't want to hold the baby. It would have been too much.