tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84877753821887776382024-02-07T09:35:44.738-08:00two plus one equals threeone christian woman's journey from infertility to adoptionSissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.comBlogger277125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-55567477274008682542014-07-22T19:27:00.001-07:002014-07-22T19:27:08.207-07:00writing about infertility<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well, I know I haven't written in ages, but I wanted to say I'm still here! The past six months I have been focusing on writing an inspirational novel based on infertility. I'm attending the SheSpeaks conference this weekend in Charlotte, NC, so if any of you are planning to be there, let me know. I'd love to meet in person. <br />
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Jackson turned two this month and is becoming quite the big boy. We bought him a toddler bike and I think his favorite thing about it is the helmet (not the one pictured, he has dinosaurs on his!) He's getting used to it and says "bike, bike" all the time. <br />
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He's also saying a lot of words, and getting his two year molars. He has two popping through right now, so we've been seeing some fussiness and crankiness, which he normally is not. Even though he does have his share of tantrums on occasion, he gets over them quickly and is laughing in three minutes. He calls himself "Jacks" and will say "Jacks, juice?" when he wants some juice. He uses other sentences as well and is just getting to be a lot of fun to be around.<br />
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Okay, back to the book. The character I'm writing about is experiencing endometriosis. I have PCOS, which I did not want to write about. But, for those of you who dealt with endo, can you comment or email me and let me know how you were diagnosed? How were you treated? When was it most painful? Just basically give me all the details. I'd appreciate it to make it more authentic. I've done research online and talked with an OB-GYN, but that doesn't mean I know how it feels. <br />
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Well, hope you all are well!Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-25397856035834147332014-01-02T09:34:00.001-08:002014-01-02T09:36:49.921-08:00Questions for the New Year<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Christmas turned out really well for a boy that is 17 months old. He still wasn't quite sure what to do with all the wrapping paper and everyone sitting around a tree, but he liked being given new toys. His favorite so far are a toy cellphone and a set of mega blocks. He also got the little set of table and chairs you see in the picture and loves climbing in and out of the chairs. He can entertain himself with the chair for at least 30 minutes.<br />
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Oh, and the little stuffed lion he's holding in the picture is Leo. Leo is Jackson's very best friend. He likes to carry him around, chew on the feet, use him as a pillow and give him kisses. In fact, the other day Jackson was in a corner behind our baby swing and all I could hear was kisses. When I investigated he was in the corner kissing Leo. I told Jackson it was way too early to be hiding in corners making out! :)<br />
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So, here's a question. How do you Moms out there discipline a 17 month old? I know there isn't too much you can do, and he really isn't a trouble-maker, but there are a few things we'd like him to learn not to do. We have used time out and have said "no" and taken things away, but I would love some other suggestions. I was spanked as a child (very few times, in only very serious situations) and don't think that is appropriate for his age or the disobedience. It would be helpful to get some advice.<br />
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Thanks in advance! Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-8611820704852350982013-12-17T16:34:00.003-08:002013-12-17T16:34:40.851-08:00coming full circleJellyBelly posted a blog about how waiting to adopt is hard at Christmas. She was writing about how each year the holidays come around and it is time to write Christmas cards and another year has gone by and she isn't sending cards with a cute little baby on them. <br />
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I remember those years. <br />
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For three years I cried every Christmas sending out those cards with only Charlie and me. It was a simple reminder that we were still waiting. Waiting. Always waiting. Living is hard in the middle of the waiting. It consumed me at times and then the dam would burst and I would collapse in an ocean of grief. Yup, the simple task of sending cards involved all that. <br />
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Then, like magic somehow, Jackson was placed in our hands. I'm sure the moment is comparable to when mothers give birth, when the doctor hands you your child. Joy, sweet and lasting. A heart about to burst. A smile that stays for hours.<br />
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Now, Christmas cards include pics of that sweet boy, but are so stressful. Having the boy is so much easier than trying to capture him on film! The cards aren't as important as the boy, but before.... Before they were so much a symbol of what we didn't have. <br />
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I like to compare these <i>befores </i>and <i>afters</i>. We all know life changes, but I think it is how it changes US that matters. Jackson has changed our cards and changed us. I am thankful for such sweet changes. <br />
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Just an example of our attempt at cute pics. Epic fail. </div>
<br />Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-75589059926795285302013-09-14T12:52:00.000-07:002013-09-14T12:52:43.222-07:00Changes in our lives...This has been a very busy summer for our family. It was my first summer at home with Jackson and we had all kinds of fun. We went to the pool, the park and did all kinds of errands. He loves riding around in the shopping cart and waving to people. He only knows one word: Hi. And he uses it, waving to people and charming all strangers. He knows he is cute. <br />
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But the big news was that my husband left his job at our church to become a middle school language arts teacher. It was a big change for us, because my husband's college degree is in Bible, not in Education and he is going in Lateral Entry. It all happened very quickly and he was hired at an inner city school with a tough group of kids. He really wants to have an impact on the lives of kids and he feels a passion to do it through education. <br />
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The first few weeks of school have been very hectic for all of us, although Jackson has transitioned the easiest. He loves his sitter and was happy to see her back after the summer break. She takes great care of him and does all sorts of neat pre-pre-school things, like helping him learn to stack and sort. My start of year was good and I feel more settled with elementary school children this year and am focusing on many new skills, like working with scissors. Have you ever tried to teach someone how to hold scissors? It is really hard! It comes naturally to us now, but when you first pick up scissors, they are hard to control. We have been practicing with kindergarteners and it is kinda cute, a little funny and also a tad dangerous when they start cutting towards themselves. <br />
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At home we are trying to tackle a load of projects. Here is our list:<br />
<ol>
<li>chimney repair: our chimney/fireplace has been damaged since we bought the house 6 years ago. Now, when it rains the water is coming down into the den. Not very much, mind you, but it is discoloring the bricks, in a way. </li>
<li>landscaping: our backyard is currently a mish mash of plants and mulch. There is no grass, and there are two huge piles of mulch waiting to be spread. I would like grass for Jackson next summer. So... help must be found.</li>
<li>dishwasher: the dishwasher has stopped working. A replacement has been found. </li>
<li>refrigerator: It has problems with the water and ice maker. We don't use much ice, but when we do need it, it is annoying not to have a working appliance. I would also like to be able to use the water through the door! Working on a replacement as well. </li>
<li>attic renovation: we have been SLOWLY working on renovating our attic into a master bedroom. We were doing well on it, but them Jackson came along and our money went to the lawyer. </li>
</ol>
There is our list! It will take time and money, but we will tackle it bit by bit!<br />
Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-14481017477368281832013-06-30T12:28:00.000-07:002013-06-30T12:28:09.421-07:00why our lawyer is lameA couple of weeks ago we went to the pool and spent the day letting Jackson explore the water. Our pool is fantastic. It has a great adult pool, but also has a lovely fenced in toddler pool. The toddler pool is my favorite, because it has a zero entry with little fountains and a big waterfall thing in the middle. I love to sit in the shallow water with Jackson and get some sun and stay cool. The waterfall feature also drowns out a lot of the noise from the big pool. It's great. But I'm getting a little off-topic.<br />
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That day we spent too long at the pool and I came home really sunburned. We were sitting on the front porch drying off and Charlie went to get the mail. He pulled a large manila envelope out of the mailbox and opened it while walking back up to the porch. When he got back up to the porch, he looked up at me with tears in his eyes.<br />
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"He's ours."<br />
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"What?"<br />
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He was holding Jackson's official adoption decree. Jackson's adoption is official and final!! I picked up my phone and called our case worker from the adoption agency and let her know. She was so excited for us.<br />
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Now, as excited as we were, and we were thrilled, this again goes to show you how lame our lawyer has been during this process. Jackson's adoption was finalized and we weren't notified at all. We got the papers in the mail. They never notified us of the court date, never told us it was finalized. I think they could have told us. I think they SHOULD have told us. Lame. I've said it before, and I will say it again, we won't use them next time. <br />
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Moving forward, we are hoping to be able to spend time with his birth mother this month, but it is up to her. She might not choose to see him/us and I guess we have to be ok with that. We'll see what happens. We are also planning Jackson's first birthday party, which we are going to have at the pool. It should be really fun. I hope. We have included way too many people, probably, and I hope it isn't too overwhelming. I'm not really a fan of large birthday parties for kids. I know Jackson' won't even remember it either, so I'm not stressing myself out about it. I just want it to be fun.<br />
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Well, that's the update from this neck of the woods. Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-59471078847010306372013-05-26T16:20:00.002-07:002013-05-26T16:20:54.838-07:00Happy Memorial Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Wishing you and your family a Happy Memorial Day and praying for safety for all our troops home and abroad. <br />
<br />Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-13418236096329883452013-05-07T15:59:00.002-07:002013-05-07T16:01:59.406-07:00more on the IC dietThanks for the suggestions on the diet plan. There are a few more things I should mention, especially when it comes to what I cannot eat.<br />
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I cannot eat:<br />
<ul>
<li>spicy: mexican food including the spices cumin, red pepper, and paprika</li>
<li>soy: anything with soy and soy sauce, which makes Chinese food difficult</li>
<li>citric acid: I dare you to look at the ingredients in your bread and not find citric acid. It is used as a preservative and is in a ton of bread products. You would think carbs would be ok, but not with that as a preservative.</li>
<li>vinegar or lemon juice: this is why I have not attempted homemade mayo...don't you need some kind of acid to help it emulsify? </li>
</ul>
By checking VERY carefully, I have found many things that I can eat, but it is a very meat and potatoes type diet. I am dying for some fettucini alfredo, but parmesan is off limits right now. I have found that if a product has very few ingredients, it might be ok. The more stuff (chemicals) in it, the less likely I can eat it. I am going to shop some at Whole Foods this weekend and see if I can find some bread. I've tried making some, but I'm just not a baker. <br />
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I did experiment with making chip dip out of cottage cheese. I blended it down to eliminate the curds, and used garlic and chives. I used WAY too much garlic, but in the next batch I will tone that down. It tastes delicious, but requires a tooth brushing and three mints to get rid of the garlic breath!<br />
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Keep sending me your tips and advice! I welcome any creative ideas you might have! Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-19283298420089765692013-04-29T17:20:00.001-07:002013-04-29T17:20:14.026-07:00the IC dietThere are many things I wonder about and some things I am certain about. I know that one of my favorite things is reading and that I really don't like being in charge of the bank account, but when it comes to health issues, sometimes things get foggy. <br />
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I've been dealing with interstitial cystitis for several years now, which is an inflammation of the bladder lining. It makes me feel like I have to go all the time. There is only one FDA approved medicine for it and it didn't work miracles for me. It was also expensive so I stopped taking it awhile ago and replaced it with some natural supplements. They aren't miracle workers either, but I get the same result for less cash. <br />
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One of the biggest suggested treatments is diet modification. When I was initially diagnosed, they handed me this pamphlet and it basically boiled down to eating only carbs and meat. Not the healthiest or the most exciting meal plan. I never really stuck with it because it was so limiting. <br />
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The last couple of months have been really stressful dealing with the IC as well. It hasn't been improving and so we did some research and found a specialist (who I can't see until June) and also found a new diet plan. It has more foods on it that I can eat, but is also more specific. <br />
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I can eat:<br />
<ul>
<li>many non-spicy vegetables like peas, corn, carrots, etc</li>
<li>very few fruits: pears, blueberries, watermelon, and gala apples</li>
<li>mild cheeses like cheddar and cottage</li>
<li>plain meats that I cook or know exactly what is in them or boiled ham/turkey lunch meat</li>
<li>plain pasta</li>
<li>eggs </li>
</ul>
I should not eat/drink:<br />
<ul>
<li>caffeine</li>
<li>artificial sweeteners</li>
<li>processed meats, like hot dogs or lunch meat or BACON</li>
<li>citrus fruit, citric acid</li>
<li>sharp cheeses, parmesan included</li>
<li>boxed pasta or rice dishes</li>
<li>preservatives</li>
<li>chocolate</li>
<li>condiments like mayo, mustard, BBQ sauce, salad dressing, soy sauce</li>
<li>vinegar</li>
<li>onion </li>
<li>tomato products of any kind</li>
</ul>
Doesn't that look like fun? It has been kind of like a big puzzle. I mean, I can eat lettuce and cheese on a salad, but I can't have any dressings that have mayo or vinegar. That is pretty limiting, I tell you. And having a sandwich with ham and cheese and no spread of any kind is pretty boring. I thought I could get away with smoked turkey, because then at least the meat would have some flavor, but "no flavored meats" was also on the caution list. I finally did figure out that I could have avocados and garlic, so I made a spread of it for sandwiches but without lemon juice in it, it doesn't last very long. <br />
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Tonight we made quesadillas and I ended up just having bean and cheese, because I couldn't have the taco seasoning on the chicken. I could have had the plain chicken, but it just didn't taste right on a quesadilla, so I just kept it plain. Last night I made ravioli, which I had with butter while I made Charlie sauce. I used to use Alfredo sauce, but with parmesan on the no-no list, I had to give that up too. <br />
<br />Some of you might say that living without the chocolate would be hard, but I think it is the mayo that it going to kill me. Everyday I think of things I want to make for summer with mayo: egg salad, pasta salad, potato salad, deviled eggs, ranch dressing and so much more. I dip my fries in mayo. It's usually the only thing I put on sandwiches and burgers. It's my condiment!!! Yes, I know I'm strange. <br />
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Anyway, I know people who've gone gluten free and I know that isn't easy either. And I know we'll make this work. I'm just craving Chinese and Mexican and Olive Garden and knowing I can't have it for now is not fun. The light at the end of the tunnel is that once I feel better, I can slowly start adding my favorite things back in to see if they irritate my bladder, Please pray that mayo will not! LOL. <br />
Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-18186842095491557752013-04-08T17:04:00.001-07:002013-04-08T17:04:22.772-07:00Spring is FINALLY here!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So, the week of Easter came and went and it was still pretty cold here in NC. We had sleet and freezing rain on Thursday! Saturday, however, was actually really nice and we took Jackson on his first trip to a neighborhood park. It is a really nice park, maintained by both the city and the Tanger Corporation. There are pretty trails, a brick gazebo to get married, a creek and picnic tables, plus benches and grass everywhere. It was the first time Jackson has touched grass, as our backyard is mostly mulch (the husband's weird idea) and so the park was a lot of fun. We had so much fun, in fact, that we packed a picnic dinner and went back tonight. <br />
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Jackson will be 9 months old tomorrow and he is doing many things:<br />
<ul>
<li>using a sippy cup</li>
<li>the army crawl </li>
<li>eating bananas and macaroni noodles</li>
<li>he has 7 teeth! </li>
</ul>
He still doesn't really have much hair and I am dying to see how it comes in. His birth mother had straight brown hair and the birth father had blondish-brown wavy hair. I'm so curious to see what grows! <br />
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We've started thinking/planning for his first birthday party. He's the only one of the grandkids with a summer birthday, so we're going to have it at the pool. Any tips on throwing a first birthday without breaking the bank? <br />
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<br />Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-27384941687736270572013-03-09T12:12:00.002-08:002013-03-09T12:12:50.103-08:00mommy brain Today I felt like a mom. An honest-to-goodness mom. It's not that I haven't felt that way before, I have, in small moments. Like when Jackson would fall asleep on my chest when he was little. Or when I fed him with a spoon for the first time, or when I make decisions about what is best for him. But today, I felt like a real mom. I was driving in my mini-van, Jackson strapped in the carseat, looking for consignment sales. <br />
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I love consignment sales, and I hate them at the same time. We have some really great churches around here that have consignment sales every spring and fall. I've been to a couple of them before, and there is one close by that we really like. It is in the church's gym and they are super organized. It is coming up in a couple weeks and we've been planning and making lists about what we need. Jackson needs new pajamas and 9 month clothes and I think we need an umbrella stroller. Now that we have a little boy who can sit up in a cart and ride in a big boy carseat, the umbrella stroller will be easier to get in and out of the van. Right now we have a jogging stroller that Charlie uses on jogs and walks, and one of the carseat frame strollers that we can sit the infant seat in and is easy to use when we are running around town doing errands. But, we are transitioning to the bigger carseat, we won't have the infant seat and I don't want to mess with the jogging stroller if I don't have to. <br />
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Today I went to one church where we thought there was a sale and the parking lot was completely empty. I texted a friend to see whether I was at the wrong place and I was, and then went to the correct church. I was disappointed. First of all, when the building you are having the sale in has three huge steps and a curb, how do you expect moms with strollers to navigate this? A curb is one thing, stairs is another. I got up the steps carrying the stroller, but I would not have been able to do that if Jackson were heavier or I had a larger stroller. Inside there was not a big selection of clothes, which was what I was looking for, and the aisles were very narrow. <br />
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I left quickly. <br />
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I ended up at Target, where I promptly thought I misplaced my cellphone and so I searched the store all over for it before finding it in my back pocket. My back pocket. I never put it in my back pocket but I did today because I didn't have the hook to hang my purse off the handle of the cart so I put it in the big section of the cart. My phone kept beeping and getting it out of the cart was a hassle so I slipped it in my back pocket and forgot it was there. <br />
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It was my first cast of mommy brain. <br />
<br />On another note, thanks for the information about your finalizations. I do know it takes a long time for many adoptions to go through, but I think I am mostly just frustrated with our lawyer and how they don't contact us---they just BILL us. I don't like that. Not at all. <br />
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<br />Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-73108702172880452212013-03-05T17:17:00.001-08:002013-03-05T17:17:36.577-08:00taking foreverLet me just say that our adoption finalization is taking forever. Well, it seems like forever, but Jackson is only 7 months old and that really isn't that long. I just know that others of you out there have finalized adoptions in less time than that and it just seems so frustrating. <br />
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Here are the things that I am frustrated about:<br />
<ul>
<li>We had to have a TPR done for the father, and while that process isn't that complicated, it is more complicated than we thought. They just had the hearing on TPR a couple weeks ago and we are now free and clear. </li>
<li>Our lawyer is very busy and not really that interested in us. I mean, he came recommended by our agency and has done great work for them before, but now isn't so awesome. We met him once, to sign papers and hand over a retainer, but since then I think he has emailed us twice, but billed us FOUR TIMES. Even when the TPR hearing was over, they didn't even call us to let us know. They emailed us. We won't use him again. </li>
<li>The lawyer fees are ridiculous. It is going to cost us almost half the cost of the agency fees to finalize the thing. Think of it this way...our agency worked with us for three and a half years and the lawyer is going to work with us for eight months and get half of what we paid them!? I don't like it. </li>
<li>The birth certificate: Am I alone in not liking that they will completely erase the birth mother's name and put in mine? I don't want to erase her. And I know I'm not supposed to know her last name and such, but I wish they could just put in her first name and leave it at that. We aren't hiding the adoption from Jackson and so I don't know why the birth certificate has to have my name. </li>
<li> The court appearance: In NC, the adoption agency can appear for the adoptive parents and since our agency is several hours away, and the court is where the agency is, it makes the most sense for us to let them handle it. I must admit, though, that I kind of wanted the pictures with the judge like I've seen many of you have. </li>
</ul>
We've been living our life and loving our boy, but we want this thing finalized. I don't know how we'll celebrate it, but I know I want to do something. <br />
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What kinds of things did you to do celebrate? Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-22141695896101036162013-01-10T17:54:00.001-08:002013-01-10T17:54:07.297-08:00six months/prayer request<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So Jackson is six months old as of Wednesday and is doing very well. He is rolling over, eating all sorts of baby food and his giggles are so wonderful to hear. He loves his nanny (three days a week) and spending a day with his Grandma and he gets to spend a whole day with daddy too. <br />
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I can't believe it has been six months. I still have those days where I'm surprised we have a baby in our house. Like when I'm kissing him and putting him in bed, I still think it's weird that there is this little person in my life. And he's a little PERSON. He has a personality and I didn't expect it to come out so soon. <br />
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Maybe this is a new mom thing, but I'm amazed at how big he's getting and how he babbles and wiggles and gets excited when he sees me or Charlie. <br />
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While we are adjusting well to being parents, I need to ask for prayers for my bladder. I have been struggling the last couple of months with my IC (interstitial cystitis) and several infections that haven't really been cleared up with antibiotics and the antibiotics sometimes cause other infections. But I'm sore and jumpy and stressed and panicky when I'm away from home. <br />
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So, I would like to ask for your prayers and I will thank you in advance. Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-23225815593561717332012-11-28T17:15:00.003-08:002012-11-28T17:15:45.433-08:00more pics from our family photo shoot...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-17608162582167001912012-11-07T17:06:00.002-08:002012-11-07T17:06:30.263-08:00pics of my men!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So I've been away from the blog for a little bit. Busy being a mom, I guess. And other stuff. Here's a list.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Had a parent night at school and had to help serve dinner to 300 people. </li>
<li>Had PTA night at school and the Specials department was in charge of the entertainment. I had to put up an art show and we had a one act play and some games that night. </li>
<li>I've been sick. Had a cold and cough and it wasn't getting better, so I finally went to the doctor today. Bronchitis. Yikes. I'm now on some antibiotics and hoping to get better. </li>
<li>We had Jackson dedicated last Sunday at church. I cried through most of it. It was so special. </li>
<li>We had professional family pictures taken this past Sunday. It was so much fun. I felt like I was on America's Next Top Model. Our photographer was great, as you can see from these sample pictures. We took some in Barnes and Nobles and at this really cool local park. I will show you more when we get them. </li>
<li>Jackson is starting to eat solid foods. We tried oatmeal for the first time this week and he did really well with it. He got the hang of the spoon really quickly and actually likes it thicker than the recommended runny way. I'm such a proud momma. </li>
<li>I mean, really, look at that picture again. Isn't he the cutest thing you've ever seen?</li>
<li>We moved around the furniture in the house so that we can actually use more space and enjoy it. The dogs had the run of our den and we never really went in there. Now, the dogs are in the old guest room which is now the office and we can use both the living room and the den. Yay. </li>
<li>We are trying our best to keep our house uncluttered. Trying. </li>
<li>I had a slumber party with my mom the other night and we watched Iron Man. So much fun. </li>
</ul>
I've been reading up on most of you and know there is a lot going on with everyone. The holidays are coming and we are very excited about sending out our first family Christmas card. Totally excited. We are going to use one of the pictures from our session, but since I haven't seen them all, I don't know how that will go. <br />
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Can I tell you again about how fun taking pictures was? So fun. I talked with Charlie about a week in advance about being cooperative and just going with what I wanted. So, he wore what I wanted and did what I wanted and was great that day. I know he was probably a little embarrassed in BN when we were kissing for the camera, but no one seemed to even care about our little photo shoot. Even when our photographer Amy was laying on the floor, no one really commented on it. Jackson tolerated it pretty well and we got some really awesome smiles out of him. <br />
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And I wore skinny jeans for the first time. Go me! <br />
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Well, enjoy the pics of my little man! Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-37450477729075886812012-10-08T17:14:00.002-07:002012-10-08T17:14:34.553-07:00bananas about mommy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm sorry it has been awhile since I've posted. With school starting back and now being a mom, there is less time for the other stuff I used to do once the dinner dishes were done and I could collapse on the couch. Now, there is bathtime and storytime and bedtime and kisses and cuddles and then I get about an hour and a half to veg a little bit before I get into bed and sleep. I love to sleep. Yessiree!<br />
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I will admit that we are spoiled and Jackson started sleeping through the night about two weeks ago. He goes to bed between 8 and 8:30 and sleeps until 7 am. It was certainly a gift from God, because the loss of sleep was the most difficult part for me. <br />
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We've been having more fun with him, taking him on little trips and to the county fair the other day. And while he slept through most of the fair, except the really loud tractor pull, it was fun to have a family outing. We enjoyed walking around and the weather was great and I was so glad that we went. I know it will be so much more fun in two years when he can pet the animals and ride the pony. <br />
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I hope all is well with you guys and you don't feel like I've abandoned you. Life has taken on new meaning, I guess. Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-35139771974169238432012-09-12T08:38:00.001-07:002012-09-12T08:38:25.995-07:00Photo Book<object width="425" height="425" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab" classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000"><param name="movie" value="http://images-community.shutterfly.com/flashapps/slideshow/slideshow-ui.swf"/><param name="flashvars" value="configXMLURL=http://images-community.shutterfly.com/flashapps/slideshow/config/config-share.xml&slideshowModuleURL=http://images-community.shutterfly.com/flashapps/slideshow/slideshow-module.swf&projectGUID=0AbOWrZq3ZOWnuaA&swfName=slideshowFlashContent&showReplay=true"/><param name="menu" value="false"/><param name="quality" value="best"/><param name="wmode" value="transparent"/><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"/><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"/><embed width="425" height="425" align="middle" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" name="wrapper" quality="best" menu="false" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" flashvars="configXMLURL=http://images-community.shutterfly.com/flashapps/slideshow/config/config-share.xml&slideshowModuleURL=http://images-community.shutterfly.com/flashapps/slideshow/slideshow-module.swf&projectGUID=0AbOWrZq3ZOWnuaA&swfName=slideshowFlashContent&showReplay=true" src="http://images-community.shutterfly.com/flashapps/slideshow/slideshow-ui.swf"></embed></object><p style="width:425px;margin-top:0;text-align:center;"><a href="http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0AbOWrZq3ZOWjnY&cid=SFLYOCWIDGET&eid=115">Click here to view this photo book larger</a><div style="margin-top: 10px; width: 425px; text-align: center;">Visit Shutterfly.com to create your own personalized <a href="http://www.shutterfly.com/photo-books" style="color: #6666cc;">photobook</a>.</div><img width="1" height="1" border="0" style="padding: 0; background: #ffffff; border: none; box-shadow: none;" src="https://os.shutterfly.com/b/ss/sflyshareprod/1/H.15/111?pageName=sharekey&c1=photobook&c2=blogger" /></p>Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-68785592892352381742012-08-22T13:03:00.002-07:002012-08-22T13:03:50.320-07:00Back to reality<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I go back to work tomorrow. I am excited and nervous and ready and not ready all at the same time. We have great childcare in place, so I'm not really worried about that, but I'm more worried about me. My bladder (I have Interstitial Cystitis) has been acting up lately and I'm more stressed about that, I think. The last couple of weeks haven't been that great, and I'm sure that the newness of having a baby hasn't made it better. I haven't had a totally hard time adjusting, but there have been days where I haven't known what to do with Jackson.<br />
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So, tomorrow will be quite the dose of reality as I get up and leave my house and get back to my classroom. Prayers, please. Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-71504127697612086882012-08-14T11:22:00.003-07:002012-08-14T11:22:54.618-07:00little toes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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While life may never be completely normal again, it is getting into more of a routine, which is good for me. Although, the routine will change once again when I go back to work Thursday of next week. School starts on the 27th and Jackson will be 7 weeks old by then. I didn't really want to miss the first day of school, even though I could have taken more time. <br />
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I'm still getting used to thinking of myself as a mom. It comes and goes. When I'm with him, I understand it and what I'm supposed to do, but when I'm alone, I'm not obsessed by it. I can enjoy being alone and not worry that he's okay. I think that's good. Yesterday I called the dentist because the filling I got two weeks ago was still sensitive and I thought it needed to be adjusted. They asked if I could come right then. Two months ago I would have gotten right in the car, but instead I blurted out, "We just got a baby, so I have to arrange childcare." So I went today and my mom came and stayed with Jackson. Would it have been appropriate for me to take him? <br />
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He's doing well and growing and starting to have more of a personality. He likes baths, which is good, cause I do too! He likes his swing and his Boppy and the pacifier from the hospital. <br />
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Ok, he's awake and crying so talk to you later!Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-28221528499259325372012-08-08T12:35:00.001-07:002012-08-08T12:35:31.571-07:00i crashed<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Last night was my night to get up with Jackson and it didn't go well. I fed him at 10:30 or so and crawled into bed a little after 11, but I had a headache and got up again at 11:30 to take something. I figured Jackson would sleep until 3 or so, because that has been his pattern the last couple of days, but he woke up at 12:45 and wanted a bottle. At that point I had slept maybe an hour. <br />
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So I'm sitting in the rocker, feeding him the bottle and bawling my eyes out. I was so tired. So tired.<br />
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I know this isn't anything new to anyone with a new baby. They get up in the middle of the night and that wasn't a surprise and it was the thing that concerned me most about adopting a newborn. I don't cope well on little sleep and it is making me cranky, weepy and otherwise irritable. I knew this would be a big problem when we finally got a baby, probably causing a little rift in our marriage as I get snappish with Charlie when sleep deprived. <br />
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This morning Charlie and I were laying in bed and talking and I started crying again about how getting sleep in two to three hour increments is wearing me down little by little. Charlie and I made a plan for me to get a little more rest and hopefully it will work. <br />
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In other news, I was thinking today about R (our birth mother) and how we can never fully express what Jackson means to us and how we can never express as much gratitude as we want to. We did get her a gift and sent it through the agency after gotcha day, but I would empty out my bank account again and again and still not feel like I've given her enough. Would any of you like to share what you did for your birth mothers? If you don't want to comment publicly, then send me an email and share. I know each situation is very personal and not all adoptions are completely open or amicable, but I'd love to know if you want to share. <br />
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Hope all is well with everyone out there!Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-24174971589741409782012-08-05T17:30:00.000-07:002012-08-05T17:30:02.559-07:00getting used to the new normal<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well, Jackson is getting bigger and more adorable by the minute, don't you think? He's starting to have more facial expressions and smile a little more, which is just too cute. We attended a bridal shower yesterday and he was a big hit, getting passed around and loved on. <br />
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There are still days when I can't quite believe this is all real and that I'm a mom. It's interesting. My husband and I talked about how blessed we are today, but then in the next moment it was just surreal. He is a pretty good baby, with minimal fussy times, but like any baby he has his moments. He is sleeping pretty good at night, usually just getting up once or twice. <br />
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We went to the lawyer on Friday and signed papers to begin the TPR for the birth father and talk through the process of the adoption finalization. We were hoping to have it finalized by the end of the year, but the lawyer said probably not. Our lawyer is about 90 minutes away, so we left Jackson at home with a sitter. The lawyer was surprised that we didn't have him with us, but the three hours in the car for an hour meeting just didn't seem like fun for him. He was better off at home. <br />
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Charlie and I did have a date night last night and we went out for dinner at Applebees and we ran a couple of errands. At the restaurant, a teenager at the table across from us knocked her steak sauce onto the floor and it flew all the way across the aisle and splattered the white sweater I had hanging off the back of my chair. The girl felt so bad and apologized many times, and the waitress brought me napkins and seltzer water and another patron handled me a Tide pen. Most of it came out in the wash, so I think it will be okay. As we left the restaurant, the girl's mother took a moment to thank me for handling it graciously. I told her I probably would have spilled something myself, no worries. I guess I could have been mad, but accidents happen. <br />
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There's the life update for now. Hope you enjoyed the pics!Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-46179574403387694042012-07-30T19:59:00.002-07:002012-07-30T19:59:27.934-07:00enjoying our boy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So life is starting to settle down and become a little more normal. Well, I mean, it's a new normal. I'm still getting used to having Jackson in the house, and today I heard a noise and was surprised to see him there! LOL. I laughed at myself, thinking that he's been here almost two weeks and you'd think I'd know he was in the house. It cracked me up. <br />
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For the first week or so we entertained lots of visitors and our church arranged meals for us, and the last one is coming Tuesday night. Lots of family came to meet Jackson and he slept through most of it. Charlie went to put the balloons out on the mailbox and got half way down the driveway and then came back. He asked me to get my camera because he wanted me to capture the moment. I thought it was funny, but obliged him. He's been so cute to watch through this entire thing, and he's enjoying the celebrations. <br />
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Most of the people so that have met Jackson so far have known our story and have known he was adopted, but I finally went somewhere where there were lots of ladies who didn't know the story and all they saw was a woman with a three week old baby. A couple of them asked me how I was recovering and it took me a moment to understand they were asking about my labor. One asked me if I'd had a C-section and I finally confessed that he was adopted and that except for the sleep deprivation I was doing fine. <br />
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Although, I did learn how it feels when I don't feel good and I still have to be mom. I had a horrible headache Saturday night and Sunday morning and Jackson seemed to just want to be held. It was an interesting morning, but we made it through. <br />
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Anyway, that's the update for now. We are all sucked into the Olympics around here and it's nice that games are on all day while I'm cuddling and feeding Jackson and trying to get used to being a mom. It gets easier, right? :)Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-17905147037530166232012-07-23T11:38:00.000-07:002012-07-23T11:38:14.256-07:00more about Jackson<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So, we've had the baby for almost a week now and he's doing pretty good. Charlie and I are getting used to having another person in the house and getting used to taking care of him. I think learning how to change his clothes was the most awkward part. He does not like to stretch out his arms, so getting him into the sleeves is the most challenging. We've done pretty well switching off nights to get up and feed him and so that part hasn't been too bad. That's the bonus of not breast feeding, I guess. <br />
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We had our first doctor's appointment this morning and it went well. We had no idea what to expect, but it was fine. He's 3oz over his birth weight and they were happy with that. Everything else went well and they gave us some cans of formula!! YAY! People are asking us what we need and we tell them to look at our registries or to get us Target cards for formula. Luckily, we live about three minutes from a Target so if we need anything, Charlie can just run out. <br />
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We've had a steady stream of visitors, but today we are getting a little alone time. I ran the dishwasher today and did a few normal housework things, like changing our sheets. I know it will take time to establish the routine that will work for us. <br />
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I think the thing that has been the most fun was watching Charlie put together the swing last night. It cracked me up, and not because of Charlie's assembly skills. I could not believe how many pieces were in the box!! I guess most people put the things together before the baby comes, but I had to laugh at how Charlie took over the living room to assemble it and I spent time in the nursery. The bonus is that Jackson loves it and it swings and vibrates.<br />
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Ok, some of you need to tell me how you chose baby things. When looking at all the baby pack and plays and swings and things at Babies R Us, I kept gravitating towards the items with muted colors. I finally realized it was because I wanted the stuff to match the rooms in our house. Not the nursery, mind you, but the living room and our living room is a beige/gold color with rust and pale green accents. The swing and pack and play we picked out are khaki and green and peach and does not stick out like a sore thumb. Anyone else like that or just me?<br />
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So, that's the update for today and we'll see how much time I get over the next couple of days to share. Again, too, I realize that some of you may stop reading now that this adoption blog will have baby pictures on it and that's alright. I understand. I don't think I'm going to be gushing all the time about Jackson, but we'll see. <br />
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Hope you enjoy the pics!Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-26094112477625180192012-07-19T18:42:00.002-07:002012-07-19T18:42:53.977-07:00More to the story<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So, to fill in a little more information, we found out about the baby about two months ago, but the mom didn't want to meet us and she didn't know the sex of the baby. We chose not to tell anyone and wait it out. Eventually, we were told it was a girl and then we patiently waited for her to be born. <br />
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Baby was due July 4th, but about a week before that, the birth mom, R, asked if we would come meet her at the hospital after the baby was born. Her parents wanted to meet us also. We were nervous, but said we would do that as long as the papers were signed. <br />
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She didn't have the baby until the 9th, and when they called us to tell us, they said "the baby is a BOY." I was so shocked. Totally. <br />
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She signed the papers the next day and we drove a couple hours to meet him and the family. It was really a great meeting and the family was so sweet. R had asked that we have a room where we could spend time with Jackson. And they all loved the name we chose for him. <br />
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We got to spend a little more time with him the next morning and with R before she was discharged. It was a special time and we were glad to have those moments with her. We then had a little more time with Jackson before we had to drive back home and wait out the revocation period. Jackson went to interim care and we went home and boxed up all the pink stuff and shopped for blue stuff. <br />
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Tuesday afternoon we spent the day registering for baby things and then we drove to the agency, signed all the papers and then the foster mom arrived and we cried and smiled and laughed and took pictures. Then we drove home, a family of three. Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-77889320840420475882012-07-19T11:47:00.002-07:002012-07-19T11:47:45.316-07:00Say Hello<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Only have a few moments to put this out there, but say hello to baby Jackson, born July 9th and adopted July 17th! Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487775382188777638.post-48304951193193487172012-07-01T11:24:00.003-07:002012-07-01T11:24:48.266-07:00Getting betterHI All! I hope you've missed me, and I've missed you all, but this last month has been busy and hard and full of tears and laughter and a ton. I promise that I'm alive, but I've been away from the blogs for awhile and have been living life and healing. <br />
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The last post I wrote was about the panic attacks I'd been having and how I'd been dealing with fear and those weeks were horrible. But I want to fill you in on the fact that I'm doing so much better. I haven't had a panic attack in five weeks or so and life is much more calm. The school year finally ended and I'm on vacation and making plans for some things to do this summer. <br />
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Here are some random thoughts for you:<br />
<ul>
<li>Our school year was two weeks longer than the rest of the county, so that felt like an eternity. I was a little emotional when it finally finished, but then as soon as it was over, I got sick. I've got a sore throat and cold and it's been hanging on for over a week. </li>
<li>We're getting ready to paint our den. Our den is a weird set-up with two doors, it's open to the kitchen, and it serves as the office and the place where the dogs hang out all day. </li>
<li>Because we're going to paint the den, we got rid of the ripped up couch that we were keeping in there and now the dogs are weirded out because they slept on that couch. </li>
<li>I've been watching Gilmore Girls while I've been sick, and I totally wish there was a Luke's Diner around the corner. The food always looks so good. </li>
<li>We have two sets of dishes, one that I had from being single and one that Charlie had from being single and we've kept both for 8 years because I liked both, but now I'm going to donate them both somewhere and get something new. I want some plain white dishes, so that I can accent my table with any color I want. Charlie offered an opinion on the new ones, but said it was ultimately my choice, so that was nice. </li>
<li>We got a pool membership for the summer and have been enjoying going over to swim. The best thing about it is the baby pool, which I discovered when we invited friends that had babies. The kiddie pool is a zero entry pool, like a beachfront, so you can sit in three inches of water and let it lap at you. The best. </li>
<li>I've lost almost 16 pounds and am feeling great. We bought a treadmill and I've been getting on it several times a week and walking. I would like to lose another 20 pounds or so, so if you have any low fat recipes you'd like to share, I'd appreciate it. </li>
<li>I helped Charlie move our ripped couch out to the curb and it was a comedy of rolling it down our front yard and sliding it out of the house. </li>
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OK, just wanted to give you the updates. I should have more time in the summer to post and keep up with you all. The past month has just felt so emotional that getting out my computer has seemed like hard work. <br />
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Talk to you again, soon. Sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05831098254614285216noreply@blogger.com3