Sunday, May 3, 2009


The birthfather has now stood the social worker up three times. Yesterday they were supposed to meet at a restaurant and he left before she got there. He said he needed to keep thinking and that he wanted to talk to the birthmom (they are no longer a couple.)

This scares me, of course.

While he hasn't shown any real interest before, his hesitation to sign off, which is perfectly normal, make my stomach upset.

Today our sermon was about God's provision and I realize that God may be using me to teach this man a lesson. Even though I may be asked to let her go, God might be teaching this man about what it means to be a father. I have to be willing to be used any way God wants, I have to submit to his will and trust that His plan for this situation may not involve me bringing her home.

Pray that His will is done here. Pray that this baby is placed in the home that is perfect for her. Pray that should I get the phone call telling me that this is the end won't completely break my heart.

If I can celebrate, I will do that, but if I cannot, let me handle it with grace and dignity.

Keep us in your prayers. We want to be covered in them.


Alison said...

Oh wow, I know this does not make you feel very settled. Signing away parental rights is a big decision and I hope that he comes around soon.
I wish I could offer some words of wisdom and comfort. Instead, I'll just keep praying that everything works out. I'm much too stubborn to give up hope that you won't be bringing that baby home with you.

So for now, I'll just pray that you'll feel peace and contentment during this LOOOOOONG period of uncertainty.