Wednesday, March 31, 2010

it's been a year

It's been just over a year since we were matched. Sigh. It seems like just yesterday I was getting that call and so excited about it. Now I just sit and hope and wait and pray.

I don't always have the best attitude about waiting, as I think I've shared before. It just weighs on my heart and mind. I guess I just thought that something else would have happened by now, but no. And I don't know what to say to people about it. People that know us in real life are usually pretty up to date...they haven't missed anything on Facebook or whatever. And Charlie about announced it from the rooftops last time, so if he isn't saying anything, they have to know nothing is going on.

It's the random people that are hardest to deal with...the people that only know a little bit about me and ask questions. Like, "how's the adoption stuff going?" I know they mean well, but I don't have anything to say about it other than, "we're still waiting." I think you all identify more with it than just acquaintances do.

But, if you've been reading the blog, you know I have a book that I've written that I want to get published and my husband was asking me why I was hemming and hawing and not putting it out there. Here's the answer: DO I NEED ANY MORE REJECTION? Uhhh, NO! I did not want to deal with the fact that someone else is going to close a door in my face and tell me that I can't do something/have something/live out this dream. That did not sound appealing.

Ultimately, I chose to bite the bullet and begin sending it out to literary agents, and I did get one rejection already. I didn't cry, so that was a step in the right direction. But, there were two reasons I decided to start trying to get an agent/book sold. One, unless I send it out there, it can never get published (yes, I could do it myself, but my money is going elsewhere.) Two, if it really did get published and more than 10 people bought it, I could make money from it and potentially be able to adopt more children. Our child might be a one and only if we don't make more money at some point. If I could be a modestly successful writer, it would help.

Editing the writing gives me something else to focus on, which is good. So if you've read the chapters, please comment so I can keep working on it. Thanks to those who have so far.


KT said...

My mother-in-law recently made the comment: "...if you started having children right when you got married, they would be 7 or 8 by now...". Ughghgh...

I agree, the comments are just hard to deal with as time goes by. It was easier in the beginning, when we felt "confident"... but now, just about anything hurts.

Chasing said...

Praying that your arms are full with a baby soon! Have I missed the boat, or can I join in on the reading too?

Frizzy and Bird said...

I said I wanted to read it but haven't received it from you via my email.

I've only begun our second period of waiting but I hope it's ok to say I know what you're feeling. I don't know what to say either and I feel like people expect me to have something more to say than, "we're just waiting to be chosen." I feel like I should have something more to say or that they might think I'm not excited which couldn't be farther from the truth. Did you have any luck with that new agency or link you mentioned awhile back? Curious how that worked. That and you never responded to me about your thoughts on my sharing your blog with our Adoption Social worker in Vegas who works at a home for expectant mother. Any thoughts on that?

Ann - Building a Nest said...

I can’t imagine what this past year has been like. I am so sorry you or anyone else ever had to endure a failed adoption. Heartbreaking. I pray and hope your phone will ring soon and start the beginning of you adopting your child.

I’m seriously proud of you for writing a book. That is incredible. I’m even more proud of you for trying to get published.

the misfit said...

That's AWESOME that you're getting the book out there. And in addition to what you said, WHEN you get it accepted - you'll be a PUBLISHED AUTHOR! Seriously, how cool is that?

Baby Wanted said...

I think it is great that you are getting your book out there. There have been many wonderful authors who were rejected before finally finding someone willing to publish their work. The author of Twilight was rejected many times.

Praying a baby is in your arms soon!

Grace in my Heart said...

I just read more of your story and ohhh, I know these waiting days are hard. I'll be praying that a child comes to you sooner than you know!