it's been a year

It's been just over a year since we were matched. Sigh. It seems like just yesterday I was getting that call and so excited about it. Now I just sit and hope and wait and pray.

I don't always have the best attitude about waiting, as I think I've shared before. It just weighs on my heart and mind. I guess I just thought that something else would have happened by now, but no. And I don't know what to say to people about it. People that know us in real life are usually pretty up to date...they haven't missed anything on Facebook or whatever. And Charlie about announced it from the rooftops last time, so if he isn't saying anything, they have to know nothing is going on.

It's the random people that are hardest to deal with...the people that only know a little bit about me and ask questions. Like, "how's the adoption stuff going?" I know they mean well, but I don't have anything to say about it other than, "we're still waiting." I think you all identify more with it than just acquaintances do.

But, if you've been reading the blog, you know I have a book that I've written that I want to get published and my husband was asking me why I was hemming and hawing and not putting it out there. Here's the answer: DO I NEED ANY MORE REJECTION? Uhhh, NO! I did not want to deal with the fact that someone else is going to close a door in my face and tell me that I can't do something/have something/live out this dream. That did not sound appealing.

Ultimately, I chose to bite the bullet and begin sending it out to literary agents, and I did get one rejection already. I didn't cry, so that was a step in the right direction. But, there were two reasons I decided to start trying to get an agent/book sold. One, unless I send it out there, it can never get published (yes, I could do it myself, but my money is going elsewhere.) Two, if it really did get published and more than 10 people bought it, I could make money from it and potentially be able to adopt more children. Our child might be a one and only if we don't make more money at some point. If I could be a modestly successful writer, it would help.

Editing the writing gives me something else to focus on, which is good. So if you've read the chapters, please comment so I can keep working on it. Thanks to those who have so far.