i took some baby pictures

So I shared the other day that I am really into photography and am loving my new camera. Well, I guess it's not new, since I've had it almost a year. But I still think of it like that.

Anyway, my friend Mandy had a little over two weeks ago and I told her I wanted to come and do some newborn shots of Eli. We also brought Mandy and her husband Brandon some dinner at the same time. I brought a few props along with me and Mandy had a couple of her own things own, so we pulled a table up to the window and stripped Eli down to his diaper. I must have taken about 100 or so pictures. and little Eli was such a trouper.

We took some shots with this bear pretending to be a bunny in anticipation of Easter.

Hands and feet, how cute!

With his bear hooded towel.

We got a couple of little smiles from him, although I guess he might be too young for that.

With the hooded towel again. Isn't he the most adorable thing? He was such a good model and was in good spirits the whole time. I think these pictures turned out really well, and was proud of the result. It only gives me more practice for when I bring home a baby, and can take pictures for me!

glimpses of home

This is the truth. The total and absolute truth.

I imported the chocolate. I opened the chocolate. I photographed the chocolate. I ate the chocolate.

It did not last long.

It's been that kind of week.

(linked up with Emily's Glimpses of Home)

And no, I have no info about the situation. It'll take awhile to get our papers together and even submit, so I'll keep you posted if anything happens.

a maybe situation

I want to be wearing these, but the weather is not quite there yet. My toes aren't ready yet either! I usually start March with a pedicure, with a gift card given to me my husband on Valentine's Day. But this Valentine's Day, I got the new pots and pans and so I didn't get the pedicure gift card. I really need one, but haven't budgeted the money to do it yet, and I'm very bad at painting them myself.

In other news, I saw an adoption situation online and it sounded like a good fit, so I sent in the registration form that is required in order to be presented to the birth mother. It isn't immediate, since once they receive the form you then have to send in your homestudy, and five copies of your birth mother letter before they will present you. It might be too late for the current situation we are interested in, but this agency regularly updates its situation lists.

My husband asked me why I hadn't registered with them before and I told him that for a couple of months I was really antsy and anxious about the adoption wait, and hadn't wanted to talk with him about it. It seems silly now, but I needed to calm myself down, otherwise I would have been calling and talking to agencies all over the place, getting my hopes up and being let down.

Nothing may come of this, but keep us in your prayers that this referral/adoption agency will see something in us and want to work with us! I would hope that we can at least continue to get our profiles out there and noticed by more birth mothers.

Maybe my flipflops days will be coming soon. It's raining now, and chilly, but someday the sun will come out, my toes will be painted and I'll be sitting on my back patio reading a book. Heaven.

a peek inside

I love to take pictures. One of the best gifts I have ever received is my Nikon D80, a hunk of a digital camera. Charlie bought it for me last year for mother's day, knowing I would want to take pictures of the baby we thought we were getting. It was one of the best and worst days, best and worst gifts. I wanted the camera so much, not more than I wanted the baby, but to be able to record the moments of her growing.

When the adoption fell through, I didn't touch the camera for several weeks. It was like this object attached to the baby, this gift I got in anticipation of the baby, and I had no baby. It reminded me of her and it was still painful. I finally picked it up and started taking pictures. I started in my yard.

I played around and captured little moments in our backyard. I don't even know what these purple berries are, but I love this picture.

And while I am not really an outdoorsy person, I love greenery and flowers and I like capturing the color around me.


The camera is now one of my best friends. I'm still working on taking pictures of people, capturing who they are, and how to show them in their best light. I like to record celebrations, birthdays, my puppies and things in my house. I'm learning.

It's nice that it's not tainted by the memories any more. In fact, I'm glad I've had it so that I can learn how to best use it by the time we do get a baby. Hopefully, I will be able to take wonderful pictures of our future child.

Hope you enjoy. Spring is beautiful around here, so expect lots of flowers coming soon!

up all night

I am so very tired. So, so, so very tired and run down. It has nothing to do with adoption, but my weekend activities.

On Friday night I hosted our third annual Read-a-Thon for second and third graders at my school. They read and collect money for three weeks and then we have a celebration where they get to spend the night at school and play games, party it up and watch a movie. It's fun. For them.

I am tired. I don't stay awake all night very often. Well, ever.

Normally I get a couple hours of sleep, but this year our party caught the attention of the local fire marshal and he paid me a visit on Thursday. Evidently, when you sleep in a place that isn't designed for you to sleep, you must have permission from the fire marshal. He told me that according to law, two people must stay awake the entire night.

Okay. Right.

So instead of laying down around 1 am like I normally do, the other moms and I stayed up talking til about 3 am. Then they went and lie down, while I did email and read some of my book, listened to people snore, and kept myself awake all night. Fun.

Of course, it might not have been so bad if I wasn't already sick. I have been fighting off a cold all week and was home sick one day. I knew I had to suck it up and get through it, but man, when I drove home I was feeling bone tired. I ate breakfast and climbed into bed. I slept for about 5 hours and then got back up. The husband made dinner and I managed to watch a couple of episodes of Bones on DVD then took some nighttime cold medicine and crawled back into bed. Slept until 10 this morning, and stayed home from church. I am all stuffed up and full of snot. Ugh.

I'm going to take a nap.

not about me

You might have noticed that my posts of late are not as sad as they were a couple of weeks ago, and that isn't due to any earth shattering news, but due to our Lenten Prayer Buddies.

How do you stop worrying about yourself? You start praying for someone else.

It really works. I hope it's working for you.

I guess the thing is this: we all get so mired in what's happening with us. We stick our heads underground and pretend we don't see the world around us. We pray, asking the Lord to take away our pain, to bring us fertility, to bring us babies. We cry and whine, stomp and say angry things. It's little sheltered corner of the world, our little box of nothing.

But then someone comes along and asks you to pray and focus on someone else. To bring them into focus and make them the center of your prayers. I forget about me, me, me and pray for her. I think about her pain, her hurts, her wishes and desires. Yes, they are similar to mine, but my prayers aren't about me.

I like this concept. I love that it's making me a less selfish person. That's not to say that I won't have more depressed moments, because I know I will. Life is just like that. We all have our ups and downs, and I like that I can share them here. I just know that Prayer Buddies has meant something to me, and I hope it's blooming something in you as well.

Give me your thoughts on it. Share with me what it is doing in your life.

an award for me!!

It is Tuesday and I am home sick. I've had the beginnings of the cold for several days and now it is in full bloom. I woke up in the middle of the night not being able to breathe, with my throat full of gunk and a throbbing head. Ow.

I took some medicine and hoped morning would bring me a brighter day. It did not.

So here I sit in my pajamas, reading all your blogs and commenting and watching it snow outside. The weather here is certainly unpredictable, but I do love snow.

I have loved all the comments I have received over the past couple of days, and am so impressed by those of you who admitted that you used to be angry, but have worked your way out of it. It takes work to let it go and move on.

On another note, I was given an award by E at Waiting for Baby. It's the beautiful blogger award.



Thanks so much, E! It's nice to be recognized for my small little corner of the world.

Okay, so there are rules, but I'm not big on rules, so I am throwing caution to the wind and ignoring most of them and just posting 7 random things about myself for your entertainment.

1. I was born in Iowa, moved to Alaska, then to Florida and then to North Carolina. Yes, I've lived all around the country.
2. I'm addicted to the big boxes of Nerds, and will eat them until my tongue goes fuzzy.
3. I got kicked out of ballet class when I was five, mostly for refusing to dance and standing in the corner picking my nose. Totally regret that, by the way.
4. I can't stand to watch those ASPCA commercials on tv. I start crying every time. I would give all my money if I could actually make it through the whole thing.
5. I love figure skating and have met both Dorothy Hamill and Michelle Kwan.
   
6. I hate being cold, and usually have a sweater with me at all times.
7. If I could afford to live in NYC in an apartment that was bigger than a breadbox and overlooked the park I would totally move there and soak it up. My husband and I visited there this summer and fell in love with the town. I would not, however, want to have to live there and make do with 500 square feet of space.
8. Yes, I watch the Bachelor.
   

Okay, there are my seven, er, eight things. Hope you enjoyed learning a little about me and reading my cold medicine induced ramblings.