We walked across a gangway and all of a sudden there was no need to cook or clean or worry about the destination. There was only a need to rest, relax, have alone time and well, think about a shower once a day. There was no mapquest or GPS telling you "recalculating," no husband asking you what that sign said as you whizzed past it at 75 mph, and you were reading anyway, not looking at road signs. It was not a time of "hurry up" or "I need that report by 3" or dogs barking or the stresses of every day. It was a time of peace and quiet and food and fun and a little bit of adventure. It was a time to trust that the captain knew his route and would get us there safely. And we did. We easily trusted that Captain Whateverhisnamewas would get us there and back.
Why can't I trust God like that?
Why shouldn't I treat everyday as a 7 day cruise to the Caribbean?
Why shouldn't I believe that my life is captained by a God who knows the route and will get me there safely? He mapped out the world eons ago and knows every road, creek, state line, ocean current and curve of the earth. He formed our world like a potter with clay, and gently forms our lives the same way. Why shouldn't I rest, relax and know that he has my world in his hands? I trusted Captain Whateverhisnamewas (he was from Norway, so I'm sure he was a good sailor) with my life for seven days after only a cursory, required life boat drill. Where no one explained how I was going to get INTO that lifeboat, by the way... I digress.
Yes, I play a part in my life. I'm not just some automaton programmed to exist, but if I continually seek him, I should be able to let him steer the ship. His route is the safest. The one with the least storms. I know life isn't without the occasional squall and rainstorm, but the lack of faith on my part is MY weakness. I waffle. I waiver. I WHINE.
So, my prayer for today is to let him continue to flood my heart with faith. He knows what I am asking for, and although I will continue to ask for it, I will continue to seek more of a relationship with my Lord. I will be quiet to hear his voice. I will rest and let him take control. I will try. By his grace I will continue to draw closer to his will.
He knows when my family will grow. He'll be the one to grow it.
He knows the destination. I get caught up in so many little things, and miss the big picture sometimes. I ask "why don't I have a baby?" and miss the fact that in first four months of this year I saw the US Figure Skating Championships, went on a cruise, and went to see Cirque de Soleil. Three things I've always wanted to do, and sometimes all I can see is the empty nursery. 2011 has been good to me so far.
He knows the destination. He knows the course. He will get me there and back safely.
If I cross the gangway and put my trust in him.
Anchors Away.
So, anyway, while I don't want to be pessimistic about this, I don't want to get excited either. I just want to be going about my normal day and not checking my phone a million times, which is what I predict will happen Thursday.
