Thursday, April 21, 2011

the destination

We walked across a gangway and all of a sudden there was no need to cook or clean or worry about the destination. There was only a need to rest, relax, have alone time and well, think about a shower once a day. There was no mapquest or GPS telling you "recalculating," no husband asking you what that sign said as you whizzed past it at 75 mph, and you were reading anyway, not looking at road signs. It was not a time of "hurry up" or "I need that report by 3" or dogs barking or the stresses of every day. It was a time of peace and quiet and food and fun and a little bit of adventure. It was a time to trust that the captain knew his route and would get us there safely. And we did. We easily trusted that Captain Whateverhisnamewas would get us there and back.

Why can't I trust God like that?

Why shouldn't I treat everyday as a 7 day cruise to the Caribbean?

Why shouldn't I believe that my life is captained by a God who knows the route and will get me there safely? He mapped out the world eons ago and knows every road, creek, state line, ocean current and curve of the earth. He formed our world like a potter with clay, and gently forms our lives the same way. Why shouldn't I rest, relax and know that he has my world in his hands? I trusted Captain Whateverhisnamewas (he was from Norway, so I'm sure he was a good sailor) with my life for seven days after only a cursory, required life boat drill. Where no one explained how I was going to get INTO that lifeboat, by the way... I digress.

Yes, I play a part in my life. I'm not just some automaton programmed to exist, but if I continually seek him, I should be able to let him steer the ship. His route is the safest. The one with the least storms. I know life isn't without the occasional squall and rainstorm, but the lack of faith on my part is MY weakness. I waffle. I waiver. I WHINE.

So, my prayer for today is to let him continue to flood my heart with faith. He knows what I am asking for, and although I will continue to ask for it, I will continue to seek more of a relationship with my Lord. I will be quiet to hear his voice. I will rest and let him take control. I will try. By his grace I will continue to draw closer to his will.

He knows when my family will grow. He'll be the one to grow it.

He knows the destination. I get caught up in so many little things, and miss the big picture sometimes. I ask "why don't I have a baby?" and miss the fact that in first four months of this year I saw the US Figure Skating Championships, went on a cruise, and went to see Cirque de Soleil. Three things I've always wanted to do, and sometimes all I can see is the empty nursery. 2011 has been good to me so far.

He knows the destination. He knows the course. He will get me there and back safely.

If I cross the gangway and put my trust in him.

Anchors Away.


Frizzy said...

Oh Sissy. This was a beautiful and heartfelt post. It touched me deeply and oh how I wish I were on that cruise with you soaking up the sun and the wind and the water. Sigh... Soon our dreams will come true and our prayers will be answered. SOON!

Thank you for this post today.

Lost in Space said...

So beautifully written.

Hang in there, friend.

G @ RenewingMoments said...

I'm a longtime reader of your blog, but I've never commented.

This post is so touching. God is in control, if only we all could trust Him more easily. But that is part of our humanity, and His grace will help us get there.

We adopted our daughter 18 months ago, and are currently going through the adoption process to grow our family again. I know how hard the waiting and wondering can be. But I also know the blessings that God can send in a tiny bundle! You are in my prayers in this time of waiting.

I've recently started my own blog. If you're interested in reading our adoption journeys, here is the link.

Perfect Power in Weakness said...

Wow- what a beautiful reflection! It's so true and the cruise ship/captain analogy is perfect. I think I need to go re-read your thoughts again because I am like you...perfectly able to trust the captain, pilot, or taxi driver, but trusting God fully is so much harder. Thanks for sharing.

"His Perfect Timing" said...

I love this post! I never thought about how willing I am to trust other humans ... I.e. Pilots, ship captains ... But have so little faith in trusting God. You really made me think! I need to have more faith, especially in this Easter season.

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

This is so beautiful, Sissy.

I love your outlook. 2011 has been wonderful to me, too.

May God Bless you this Easter and always :)

Maria said...

So happy for you to have this special time away. We had a similar vacation after our adoption nightmare and before we got Gianna. We look back on it often as a time of grace and healing.....and the last awesome vacation for the two of us for a LONG while. Hope you know you that you and your journey remain in my prayers.