We're Number 1

I talked with our case worker at the agency yesterday, and asked her if we were the longest waiting couple they had now.  We've been waiting almost three years (it will be 3 years at Thanksgiving) and have been disappointed many times, with the one big failed match.  She said that one couple ended up pregnant, one adopted embryos and now we were waiting the longest.  We're officially first on their list.

Such winners, aren't we?  :)  It really doesn't mean much.

I mean, everyone loves our profile book, and they've had women in that match our profile, but before they've gotten to the match stage, they decide to parent.

I've had lots of conversations with God this year, and many in the past couple of weeks, about how Charlie and I need him to move the mountains out of our way in order to adopt a child.  We can't do this without him, and even though I like to look at adoption postings, and talk to our case worker, and network with you all, the actual signing of the papers by a birth mom will have to be orchestrated by our heavenly father. 

The only bonus of being first on the list, is that if they get a birth mother in that does not want to choose parents, and she is in our program, then we will be matched.  That doesn't happen often, though, so I'm not holding my breath. 

Also, our case worker also reported that this time of year is generally slow for them.

So, I've been praying that our agency would experience a boon of calls, and that God would help me keep me calm, patient and glorifying him.  These years have been long, and short at the same time.  I know it is stupid, but I'm haunted by our Christmas cards.  I thought for sure that this year we'd be sending out a family picture, instead of just the picture of the two of us.  And I know there is still time for it to happen, and I'm trying to trust, but it is hard.