Saturday, December 20, 2008

child specific checklist

This week we chose to fill out our CSC, and it took awhile. The CSC is a form that asks you a very important question:

Are you only willing to accept a healthy child? ____ yes ____no. If you select "no" please refer to pages 2 and 3.

Pages 2 and 3 are a huge graph of things, in alphabetical order, from allergies to mental retardation to whatever comes at the end of the alphabet. You have to go through each one and check that "yes, you would accept a child with that" or "no, I would not accept a child with that" or "I would consider a child with that." It's a hard checklist to go through.

If I were pregnant, I would certainly not be able to determine which of these health problems I was willing to deal with. And in reality, a doctor really won't know that an infant will have allergies or asthma or autism (they do use this checklist for all adoptions...like if we were considering adopting an older child.) It's hard to know what to say about it and how to decide what we can handle. I believe God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but in this case I guess He's given us some of the control. It's an odd place to find myself. I didn't have control over the infertility, but I can decide if I want a boy or girl.

If we were adopting an older child, some of the things to consider are quite interesting. One of the health problems to consider was "fire starter." It made me laugh to begin with, because I was picturing Drew Barrymore, but then I realized that it wouldn't be on there unless it could actually be an issue. That made me sad.

I told my husband the other day that I think this whole process will be a lesson in trusting our Lord. In placing my hopes and dreams in His hand and knowing that it will come out ok. A lesson in believing that His will for us is perfect. So Charlie and I carefully considered what we thought we could handle and finished that form.

Five more forms to go this round.

9 comments:

Scrapper Mom said...

So many things to think about. I wish you all the best. I know this is taking a toll on you mentally.

And yes...chickadee and I have been friends since before kindergarten!! lol.

Lula! said...

Wow...
I had no idea it was this involved. As always, though, I'm praying for y'all.

hunnybeemay said...

God bless you and guide you through this. Remember...God already knows the plans He has for you (and your child) so none of this is a surprise for Him. In the eyes of God this is already done....it's just a matter of waiting for His plan to be revealed. So rest in Him. It's already taken care of :)
Merry Christmas sweety!!

2China4Ayla said...

Sissy - You will find a deeper and stronger compassion for the Lord, and for His little children living without the love of parents. So many fall asleep at night without being tucked in, kissed or even the comfort of warm blankets. It is heart wrenching. Our Heavenly Father does already know the child He has for you and He will prepare you and that child perfectly. We had to do similar checklists and I can assure you when we petitioned for Ayla if cancer would have been anywhere on her files we would have never petitioned - it was MORE then we could or ever wanted to handle but God knew that He would give us the grace and mercy as we needed it - and He did. I thank the Lord that cancer was never mentioned, and we did petition for Ayla and she was placed with our family. I cannot imagine a minute of my life without my little lovebug! So rest assured He already knows. Don't you just wish you could have a sneak preview? :o)

Mommy said...

Ugh...that list was the WORST list I have ever analyzed. The medical checklist...the dreaded medical checklist! Remember, however, that no matter which boxes you check "yes", God already knows the end of this story before you ever read the list. :-) Merry Christmas! I hope both of us are holding our babies this time next year.

2China4Ayla said...

Sissy - I just wanted to encourage you that someday you will look back at the paperwork, the waiting (all your labor) and thank God that through your suffering He was able to bring you an amazing gift, the miracle of your child. I hope and pray you will find peace with infertility (if you have not already been given that peace) and maybe even be thankful for it, because that same "curse" will have shown up in a blessing you will get to tuck in at night....one that needs you as you need them. I know the pain of infertility and adoption labor, and I can attest that through it came such remarkable blessings. I am praying for you.

Bird, Frizzy and Our Little Yaya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bird, Frizzy and Our Little Yaya said...

Let's try this again w/o the typos.
I still recall feeling guilty. I had already prayed countless times for a child any child of my own no matter what illness they may have. Then, here I sat answering such questions as these. I'll never forget filling out that paperwork or the leap of faith we took when checking those boxes. If you need a reminder go back and read our story of the boxes we checked. Some of them we checked "No" but in the end changed our mind and opinions when we actually met Yaya. God is good and will take care of all of you. Be true to yourself, you marriage, your future child and Him. I can't wait to see what 2009 has in store for you! Happy New Year my dear!

stefanie said...

Wow, there is so much to consider!