mommy brain

Today I felt like a mom.  An honest-to-goodness mom.  It's not that I haven't felt that way before, I have, in small moments.  Like when Jackson would fall asleep on my chest when he was little.  Or when I fed him with a spoon for the first time, or when I make decisions about what is best for him.  But today, I felt like a real mom.  I was driving in my mini-van, Jackson strapped in the carseat, looking for consignment sales. 

I love consignment sales, and I hate them at the same time.  We have some really great churches around here that have consignment sales every spring and fall.  I've been to a couple of them before, and there is one close by that we really like.  It is in the church's gym and they are super organized.  It is coming up in a couple weeks and we've been planning and making lists about what we need.  Jackson needs new pajamas and 9 month clothes and I think we need an umbrella stroller.  Now that we have a little boy who can sit up in a cart and ride in a big boy carseat, the umbrella stroller will be easier to get in and out of the van.  Right now we have a jogging stroller that Charlie uses on jogs and walks, and one of the carseat frame strollers that we can sit the infant seat in and is easy to use when we are running around town doing errands.  But, we are transitioning to the bigger carseat, we won't have the infant seat and I don't want to mess with the jogging stroller if I don't have to. 

Today I went to one church where we thought there was a sale and the parking lot was completely empty.  I texted a friend to see whether I was at the wrong place and I was, and then went to the correct church.  I was disappointed. First of all, when the building you are having the sale in has three huge steps and a curb, how do you expect moms with strollers to navigate this?  A curb is one thing, stairs is another.  I got up the steps carrying the stroller, but I would not have been able to do that if Jackson were heavier or I had a larger stroller.  Inside there was not a big selection of clothes, which was what I was looking for, and the aisles were very narrow. 

I left quickly. 

I ended up at Target, where I promptly thought I misplaced my cellphone and so I searched the store all over for it before finding it in my back pocket.  My back pocket.  I never put it in my back pocket but I did today because I didn't have the hook to hang my purse off the handle of the cart so I put it in the big section of the cart.  My phone kept beeping and getting it out of the cart was a hassle so I slipped it in my back pocket and forgot it was there. 

It was my first cast of mommy brain. 

On another note, thanks for the information about your finalizations.  I do know it takes a long time for many adoptions to go through, but I think I am mostly just frustrated with our lawyer and how they don't contact us---they just BILL us.  I don't like that.  Not at all. 

taking forever

Let me just say that our adoption finalization is taking forever.  Well, it seems like forever, but Jackson is only 7 months old and that really isn't that long.  I just know that others of you out there have finalized adoptions in less time than that and it just seems so frustrating. 

Here are the things that I am frustrated about:

• We had to have a TPR done for the father, and while that process isn't that complicated, it is more complicated than we thought.  They just had the hearing on TPR a couple weeks ago and we are now free and clear.  
• Our lawyer is very busy and not really that interested in us.  I mean, he came recommended by our agency and has done great work for them before, but now isn't so awesome.  We met him once, to sign papers and hand over a retainer, but since then I think he has emailed us twice, but billed us FOUR TIMES.  Even when the TPR hearing was over, they didn't even call us to let us know.  They emailed us.  We won't use him again.
• The lawyer fees are ridiculous.  It is going to cost us almost half the cost of the agency fees to finalize the thing.  Think of it this way...our agency worked with us for three and a half years and the lawyer is going to work with us for eight months and get half of what we paid them!?  I don't like it.  
• The birth certificate:  Am I alone in not liking that they will completely erase the birth mother's name and put in mine?  I don't want to erase her.  And I know I'm not supposed to know her last name and such, but I wish they could just put in her first name and leave it at that.  We aren't hiding the adoption from Jackson and so I don't know why the birth certificate has to have my name.  
•  The court appearance:  In NC, the adoption agency can appear for the adoptive parents and since our agency is several hours away, and the court is where the agency is, it makes the most sense for us to let them handle it.  I must admit, though, that I kind of wanted the pictures with the judge like I've seen many of you have. 

We've been living our life and loving our boy, but we want this thing finalized.  I don't know how we'll celebrate it, but I know I want to do something.

What kinds of things did you to do celebrate?

six months/prayer request

So Jackson is six months old as of Wednesday and is doing very well.  He is rolling over, eating all sorts of baby food and his giggles are so wonderful to hear.  He loves his nanny (three days a week) and spending a day with his Grandma and he gets to spend a whole day with daddy too. 

I can't believe it has been six months.  I still have those days where I'm surprised we have a baby in our house.  Like when I'm kissing him and putting him in bed, I still think it's weird that there is this little person in my life.  And he's a little PERSON.  He has a personality and I didn't expect it to come out so soon. 

Maybe this is a new mom thing, but I'm amazed at how big he's getting and how he babbles and wiggles and gets excited when he sees me or Charlie. 

While we are adjusting well to being parents, I need to ask for prayers for my bladder.  I have been struggling the last couple of months with my IC (interstitial cystitis) and several infections that haven't really been cleared up with antibiotics and the antibiotics sometimes cause other infections.  But I'm sore and jumpy and stressed and panicky when I'm away from home. 

So, I would like to ask for your prayers and I will thank you in advance. 

more pics from our family photo shoot...

pics of my men!

So I've been away from the blog for a little bit.  Busy being a mom, I guess.  And other stuff.  Here's a list.

• Had a parent night at school and had to help serve dinner to 300 people.  
• Had PTA night at school and the Specials department was in charge of the entertainment.  I had to put up an art show and we had a one act play and some games that night.  
• I've been sick.  Had a cold and cough and it wasn't getting better, so I finally went to the doctor today.  Bronchitis.  Yikes.  I'm now on some antibiotics and hoping to get better.  
• We had Jackson dedicated last Sunday at church.  I cried through most of it.  It was so special.  
• We had professional family pictures taken this past Sunday.  It was so much fun.  I felt like I was on America's Next Top Model.  Our photographer was great, as you can see from these sample pictures.  We took some in Barnes and Nobles and at this really cool local park.  I will show you more when we get them.  
• Jackson is starting to eat solid foods.  We tried oatmeal for the first time this week and he did really well with it.  He got the hang of the spoon really quickly and actually likes it thicker than the recommended runny way.  I'm such a proud momma.  
• I mean, really, look at that picture again.  Isn't he the cutest thing you've ever seen?
• We moved around the furniture in the house so that we can actually use more space and enjoy it.  The dogs had the run of our den and we never really went in there.  Now, the dogs are in the old guest room which is now the office and we can use both the living room and the den.  Yay.  
• We are trying our best to keep our house uncluttered.  Trying.  
• I had a slumber party with my mom the other night and we watched Iron Man.  So much fun.  

I've been reading up on most of you and know there is a lot going on with everyone.  The holidays are coming and we are very excited about sending out our first family Christmas card.  Totally excited.  We are going to use one of the pictures from our session, but since I haven't seen them all, I don't know how that will go.

Can I tell you again about how fun taking pictures was?  So fun.  I talked with Charlie about a week in advance about being cooperative and just going with what I wanted.  So, he wore what I wanted and did what I wanted and was great that day.  I know he was probably a little embarrassed in BN when we were kissing for the camera, but no one seemed to even care about our little photo shoot.  Even when our photographer Amy was laying on the floor, no one really commented on it.  Jackson tolerated it pretty well and we got some really awesome smiles out of him.

And I wore skinny jeans for the first time.  Go me!

Well, enjoy the pics of my little man!  

bananas about mommy

I'm sorry it has been awhile since I've posted.  With school starting back and now being a mom, there is less time for the other stuff I used to do once the dinner dishes were done and I could collapse on the couch.  Now, there is bathtime and storytime and bedtime and kisses and cuddles and then I get about an hour and a half to veg a little bit before I get into bed and sleep.  I love to sleep.  Yessiree!

I will admit that we are spoiled and Jackson started sleeping through the night about two weeks ago.  He goes to bed between 8 and 8:30 and sleeps until 7 am.  It was certainly a gift from God, because the loss of sleep was the most difficult part for me. 

We've been having more fun with him, taking him on little trips and to the county fair the other day.  And while he slept through most of the fair, except the really loud tractor pull, it was fun to have a family outing.  We enjoyed walking around and the weather was great and I was so glad that we went.  I know it will be so much more fun in two years when he can pet the animals and ride the pony. 

I hope all is well with you guys and you don't feel like I've abandoned you.  Life has taken on new meaning, I guess. 

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