Wednesday, February 16, 2011

what do you show?

In the fall we updated our home study, but we didn't update our profile book. I finally thought about it the other day and called the agency and talked to our social worker about it. She agreed that we should update the book, to include any changes that have happened in the past two years.

Well, certainly. Much has changed. The twins and Harrison were just babies when we applied to the agency. I was teaching library. The family has grown and we've made so many new memories, and I've taken thousands of pictures.

But, how do you know what to include? What would you include?

Family?
Friends?
House?
Pets?
Church?

How do you know what a birth mother needs to see in order for her to feel comfortable choosing you to raise her child? What will help her decide if you are the ones?

Before, our agency said the our book shows well and that they would tell us if mothers made comments about it, or make suggestions on what we should edit. But, I'd love opinions from you all out there, as well. I know we aren't supposed to include things that could allow the mothers to place where we work, live, and hang out.

And, doesn't it seem like we get all excited about a possible situation, only to have it just fizzle out? You know, you get this email, or a phone call and you ask for all the details and the fees. Then, typically, you have a hurried conversation with your husband, and then either agree to have your profile shown or not. Then you say, OK. Then you wait. And wait. And you think about baby names and traveling to get there and should you share the possibility with people or not? And there isn't any information forthcoming from the people in the know, or in the case of our referral agency, she can't get any information from the agency who was reaching out for more adoptive parents.

Then, nothing. They choose someone else and all the hurry up is suddenly over. All the imagining and wondering and excitement is over until it happens again.

Sigh.

4 comments:

Bailey's Leaf said...

When we did our book, we did a bit about how we met, places we went, our wedding, our home and where we worked. We did bits about family, friends, pets and included church. We included a fairly blank page at the back that says, "This is where your picture goes. This is our family and we want you to be in it. we are excited to meet you! See you soon!"

We thought it was important to include a lot, but we were doing a county adoption and honestly, the likelihood that anyone would be viewing it would probably be pretty low. At least we knew that the workers would know us!

marge said...

i have no idea, but would you put a picture of the nursery in there? i think that could be cute.

pictures of your family and home i think would be great!
--but i know little-to-nothing about this.

Frizzy said...

Our agency said we don't need to redo our profile either. I can't help but feel there must be SOMETHING wrong with it. Something that is off putting or ???

I ask myself the same questions. I've taylored my blog links to be what were asked of us on our profile. Ie. holidays, music, family, our home, traditions, etc. Still NOTHING! I get hits from our agency's website but they don't seem to stick around long or read very far. If you are able I would love to review yours and I would love input on ours as well. Who knows!

A Family of Love said...

When we wrote our birthmother letter, someone told me that a birthmother may look at one thing or another. Some examples may be: the type of pet you have, the name of your pet, the color of your house, the size of your family. One or more of these kinds may remind her of a childhood pet, grandma may have had the same color house, she wants her child in a large or small family. Hope that makes sense. We included a little about how we meet, a little about each of us, our pet, our house, our church and a paragraph welcoming her into our family. Hoped that helped.

I am praying for you! Praying that this is your year!