So I'm sitting in the rocker, feeding him the bottle and bawling my eyes out. I was so tired. So tired.
I know this isn't anything new to anyone with a new baby. They get up in the middle of the night and that wasn't a surprise and it was the thing that concerned me most about adopting a newborn. I don't cope well on little sleep and it is making me cranky, weepy and otherwise irritable. I knew this would be a big problem when we finally got a baby, probably causing a little rift in our marriage as I get snappish with Charlie when sleep deprived.
This morning Charlie and I were laying in bed and talking and I started crying again about how getting sleep in two to three hour increments is wearing me down little by little. Charlie and I made a plan for me to get a little more rest and hopefully it will work.
In other news, I was thinking today about R (our birth mother) and how we can never fully express what Jackson means to us and how we can never express as much gratitude as we want to. We did get her a gift and sent it through the agency after gotcha day, but I would empty out my bank account again and again and still not feel like I've given her enough. Would any of you like to share what you did for your birth mothers? If you don't want to comment publicly, then send me an email and share. I know each situation is very personal and not all adoptions are completely open or amicable, but I'd love to know if you want to share.
Hope all is well with everyone out there!
9 comments:
We got Sam's birthmom the same Poo bear we got him and every year for Christmas we exchange gifts.
ps...totally with you on the sleep think...that was the hardest part for me....I was so happy when he starting sleeping in 4-5 hour blocks at 3 months old....I was 41 when we adopted Sam so I think the age thing had something to do with it too...20 somethings have more energy!
Oh, honey, I so remember those early days (go back and read my posts in early 2010). You have to sleep when Jackson does; forget about cleaning, reading, laundry, everything else. Take a nap! Forgo a shower for a nap. Beg meals from friends and family so you can forgo cooking and take a nap. Have your husband take the late feeding and go to bed early. Keith used to take the 11:00 feeding so I could go to bed around 8. Then I could sleep until 3.
As for gifts, we got Little Man's birthmother a devotional Bible and the same stuffed giraffe we used in his monthly pictures.
And take a nap :)
When we adopted our 2nd (which was our 1st newborn - totally new experience), I felt that sleep deprivation awfulness, too. What worked for us those first 2 months was getting him on a schedule ASAP. Feeding him at 1:30, 5:30, 9:30, repeat worked well for us. I did the 1:30 feeding and DH did the 5:30 stayed up to get ready for work and went in 1 hour early (worked 7a-4p for just those couple of months). I was able to get 4-6 hours of consecutive sleep and did wonders for me and my ability to keep it together for my 3-year old during the day :)
As far as birthfamily gifts, we did a handprint/footprint in a nice frame from his newborn stage. A locket with his picture in it for his 1yr birthday. We send the usual reports & pictures per our agreed schedule ( a lot those first couple years ). We also sent a small Christmas gift her birthmom and her kids at home.
At the time of placement we gave our birthmom a gift card to Walmart...it is what she needed. Our first actual gift to her a month later was a beautiful pink photo album with a few pictures in it of Aliya. I wrote a note in the front letting her know how much we love and honor her. 4 years later she still has the album and fills it with the pictures we send her. She says she loves it!!
Oh how I remember those days of little or no sleep. I know you have said you and Charlie switch off nights getting up, but what if you both get up during the night but take turns? That is what we did with Ava for the first three months because she had to eat so often. That way we could sleep in longer stretches. Just a thought.
For our birthmother, we had a prayer shawl knitted by one of our friends at a local church. They have a prayer shawl outreach ministry. We knew she would have a hard time afterwards and thought it would bring a little comfort.
OK, I have been way behind. I just realized I didn't notice a new post from you in the last...month?? I am now caught up. Thus: congratulations!
DH and I switched up feedings at night. Since he liked to stay up late, he would stay up til 12 or 1, sometimes 2, while I would go to bed at 8 and then he would wake me up when he needed to go to bed. It worked whittle well. Sleep deprivation is The Worst!!!! I have cried before too, I was so tired.
We got Lukes birthmom the same bear we use to take his weekly photos. I want toget her something else ... A necklace, something nicer, but haven't come across it yet. I also plan on making her some Shutterfly books and then purchase them at their sales for Christmas. Like you said, it is So Hard, as you can never repay her enough. But I think seeing her baby go to a good family where you love him so much is also payment enough too. :-)
I recently found this website (some things are expensive.) I'm thinking about getting our new baby's birthmother a piece of jewelry.
www.manyheartsonebeat.com
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