Monday, May 30, 2011

look who came to visit

In the midst of all this funeral stuff lately, many of us college friends took the time to visit. I already had lunch scheduled with my friend Laura and it ended up including another friend as well. And Laura's daughter, A. Isn't she sweet?

She is quite the flirt with the camera, and with Charlie!

I can't remember what made her laugh, but the expression is wonderful!

Love it! We had a good time reminiscing and remembering Dennis, all while being entertained by A.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Knocked Down

Ever feel like this?

I don't know for sure that one of the birth moms picked someone else, but I know the other one put off her meeting. When I called the agency the other day they said they had just been looking at our profile in preparation for meeting with her after memorial day. They said to keep praying because she wasn't 100% sure about placing the baby.

I felt like I'd been knocked on my butt again.

It seems like so many around the blogosphere are getting matched or getting babies and even though we've got all these feelers out there, nothing seems to be panning out. I was just in the nursery, putting something in the closet, looking at all the stuff in there that's just waiting to be used. Most of it is over two years old. I'm sure half the safety standards on carseats, strollers and cribs have changed since we bought that stuff! LOL. Anyway, I said to God "I'd like this stuff to be used soon. Okay?" My own little conversations with God go like that.

Anyway, not much else to report. It's been a productive day in that I've gotten half the house cleaned, spray painted some more frames for my dining room wall and am getting ready to hang them up. I'll show pics when I get them arranged to my liking. And we're having friends over for dinner, so that should be fun. I've been on a roll kicking Charlie's butt in Scrabble.

And the song "My Wish" from Rascal Flatts makes me cry each time. And it just came on Pandora while I'm typing this. Such an awesome song. And half the time I sing it as a prayer for people I know.

Well, am thinking of all of you. Happy Weekend.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Elisa and Josh

The bright spot in my week was a lovely wedding we went to yesterday. Josh and Elisa were married at 4:30 yesterday afternoon in a very personal and HOT wedding.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

go away tears

I'm sad.

So sad.

The memorial was last night and it was beautiful and horrible and wonderful all at the same time.

And I'm so tired. And cried out. But I'm sure there are more tears in there.

So, although I know this post isn't much, I'm writing to say I'm here and I'm grieving and I'm trying to move on and help Crystal with her kids, housework, grocery shopping, and whatever else there might be.

But I'm still sad and that isn't going to go away anytime soon.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

horrible weekend

All last week I was on pins and needles for a call from our adoption agency. One that I never got, by the way. I did, however, get the kind of call no one ever wants.

It was one of those "are you with people?" calls.

An "are you sitting down?" call.

A call so bad that my cubicle mates started giving me looks as I started bawling.

A friend of mine from college, Dennis Foster, had died, suddenly. He was in my class, an education major like me, a fellow resident assistant, a man with ambitions, and a man who had the biggest crush on another education major, Crystal.

Fast forward almost ten years and Dennis and Crystal have two daughters and a lovely home. She's a teacher and he's a principal of a local elementary school. They were at my wedding. I've hosted her baby showers, we get pedicures together, he cooked black eyed peas for my momma on New Year's Day.

And now he's gone.

And I'm sad.

I've spent time with Crystal this weekend, as she makes funeral arrangements and consoles her daughters and deals with some of her own health problems. I've cried with her, for her, for him and for those of us left reeling by this death. She has screamed at the heavens, wailing and wanting it all to be just some story about other people. But it is not.

There is so much pain wrapped up in this situation and this morning at church I worshipped and cried through most of it, praising the God who gives and takes away. All weekend, I've been whispering "Jesus, be with us in this place."

So, prayers for my friend Crystal and her two daughters. This is going to be a hard road for them to travel.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

the farmer's market

In an attempt to keep my mind off other, more adoption-related topics, I'm going to tell you about a recent outing. No, nothing else has happened. We don't have any news. So...

A couple of weeks ago, Charlie, my Mom and I went to the Farmer's market. I took my camera along and had some fun! Don't know what all the plants are, but thought they were pretty.

Something purple!

Charlie and I went around and around and tasted all the strawberries at each different stand, and then went back to this stand to buy. They were the best, although they were covered in sand. We brought them home and while I was outside reading at the patio table, Charlie went in and washed them all and hulled them! He had no idea that you didn't wash them until you were going to eat them, and I didn't understand why he thought cutting off the "handle" was helpful. LOL. Seriously, folks, it was a gallon of strawberries that we then had to eat in about three days.

Pretty flower. Orange one.

The wide view.

Multi-colored marigolds! There was a whole table of them and they were so beautiful!

Monday, May 9, 2011

more information *** updated****

*** Our case manager sent me an email today letting me know that the birth mother had to reschedule, so the meeting will not be on Thursday. Now I am back to not knowing when it is and that is fine with me! ****

Well, our case manager sent me an email today and let me know that one of the birth mothers is coming in on Thursday and then she is attending an adoption fair on Friday. I already knew about the adoption fair, but I didn't know when the birth mother was coming. Actually, I kind of wish I didn't know, because I know that I will be tense all day that day, hoping the phone will ring.

So, anyway, while I don't want to be pessimistic about this, I don't want to get excited either. I just want to be going about my normal day and not checking my phone a million times, which is what I predict will happen Thursday.

Thank you for all your prayers so far and keep them coming. Even if we do get a match, we've also been down that road before and it didn't end well. Pray that I will keep it together and that I won't be nervous the rest of the week. Okay?

And Happy Mother's Day to all of you Moms out there!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

shhhh, can you hear it?

A whisper of an adoption possibility came along today. Our case manager called and said they are meeting with two birth mothers next week that me our profile and that she thought one might be a good match for us.

I got excited, I can't lie about that. Then, realistic me, stomped down on that excitement and realized that it can all fall through and I can't control it and that we need lots of prayer.

Please pray that these women will stand firm in their commitment to choose life and adoption.

Please pray that we will remain calm and comforted in this time of waiting. Let us live life.

Please pray that if we are the best match for either of this women, they will be drawn to our awesome profile!

Okay? Get on it.

Monday, May 2, 2011

almost princess kate

Oh. The wedding. It was beautiful and all that, and I've watched it twice and enjoyed it both times and wasn't she pretty and that DRESS was magnificent, and.......

What would it be like to wake up one day in a country where marrying the prince is actually possible? I mean, it is a FAIRY TALE for us Americans, because we don't live in a monarchy. (And yes, I know about Wallis Simpson, but come on.) I mean, Kate was born around the time of Prince William, so that narrows it down a little, and then ends up at the same college and same dorm. Circled narrowed even further. I mean, one day you work for your parents and the next day you are married to the prince, have the Queen as a grandmother, and in your lifetime you could be QUEEEEEEEN? I mean, it boggles me a little.

Plus, the girl seems really nice and I like her taste and William seems to love her.


Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.